Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute... - FML

By maryfaithh - 27/01/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 515

You deserved it 25 999

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 65 724

Cooked

By Anonymous - 21/04/2023 03:00

Today, I tried to make mashed potatoes but then went into another room to wait on them, then forgot about them, ruining my only big pot and a full bag of potatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 865

By razordot - 28/02/2019 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 2 081

By missgayle319 - 15/03/2012 07:53 - United States

Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 282

You deserved it 13 021

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 46 028

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 988

You deserved it 58 483

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 1 463

By Anonymous - 05/01/2017 11:20

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 779

You deserved it 1 874

By dancincherrychic - 25/10/2015 19:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 3 511

Adulting is tough

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 531

Next

Top comments

that1guyyy 12

Friday 27 January 2012 18:46

That's uncanny

DocBastard 38

Friday 27 January 2012 18:48

You dumbass! The potato peeler is for mixing things, and the can opener is for slicing pizza. You're supposed to use the microwave to open cans. Everyone knows that.

Comments

urmomshouse 0

Friday 27 January 2012 20:36

This shouldnt have made it to fml.

skyeyez9 24

Friday 27 January 2012 20:39

Let's hope you don't forget what a razor looks like and try to use the potato peeler.

JordanP9297 2

Friday 27 January 2012 20:47

stupidest fml i have ever seen

kemeyeoz 0

Friday 27 January 2012 21:03

oh!! we have a Facepalm winner

isis_morrigan 18

Friday 27 January 2012 21:24

wow, seriously? because they look so much alike??? how in gods name can one confuse a potato peeler and a can opener?

Yinyang98 3

Friday 27 January 2012 21:35

That's actually happened to me. Multiple times.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 27 January 2012 21:36

Do you try to make curly fries with a can opener?

giowu 0

Friday 27 January 2012 22:16

Were u high?

lahorasono 0

Friday 27 January 2012 22:18

What's a "can opener"?

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 27 January 2012 22:26

A can opener is a can opener....

RyanMacVey 17

Friday 27 January 2012 22:52

It's a device used to increase pleasure during masturbation. You should try it!! (:

maryfaithh 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:42

go home.

lahorasono 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:04

I was sarcastically referring to the use of modern technology, that people start to forget what things are. Like a VCR, a tape, a CD, etc.

lantern 6

Friday 27 January 2012 22:19

Sounds like you were high

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The Top

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 97

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

The Top

Today, my son's yearbook came. I was pretty happy, as I'd also ordered a larger version of his photo because he's going to California for college and I wanted a special picture of him to keep. Unfortunately, my happiness disappeared when I saw that he was wearing a horse mask in the photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 579

You deserved it 790

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 961

You deserved it 5 678

Today, I was logging into my work computer. My account became locked due to the many failed attempts at typing my password. Thinking I was alone, I said, “Fuck this shit” while dragging the keyboard off my desk. Turns out my supervisor was in the other room. I'd forgotten I'd changed my password the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 016

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

Today, while my man of almost 5 years was playing a video game with his friends, during one of the conversations they were having, one of his childhood friends asked “What do you see in her?” He replied, “I don't know, it’s more of an entrapment type of thing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 491

You deserved it 333

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 883

You deserved it 2 114