Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute... - FML

By maryfaithh - 27/01/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 515

You deserved it 25 999

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 65 724

Cooked

By Anonymous - 21/04/2023 03:00

Today, I tried to make mashed potatoes but then went into another room to wait on them, then forgot about them, ruining my only big pot and a full bag of potatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 865

By razordot - 28/02/2019 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 2 081

By missgayle319 - 15/03/2012 07:53 - United States

Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 282

You deserved it 13 021

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 46 028

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 988

You deserved it 58 483

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 1 463

By Anonymous - 05/01/2017 11:20

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 779

You deserved it 1 874

By dancincherrychic - 25/10/2015 19:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 3 511

Adulting is tough

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 531

Next

Top comments

that1guyyy 12

Friday 27 January 2012 18:46

That's uncanny

DocBastard 38

Friday 27 January 2012 18:48

You dumbass! The potato peeler is for mixing things, and the can opener is for slicing pizza. You're supposed to use the microwave to open cans. Everyone knows that.

Comments

ronski 41

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:47

I take it that you don't cook much

Belgiangirl_fml 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 9:55

or she does and that's why she doesn't remember how to open a can?

PedoPancakes 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:55

You know your cool when ... ;P

arthurlikestrain 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:08

...........

peonmvc 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:21

I ******* hate when mother-in-laws try to impose themselves into everything...please know women, when you have a daughter and she gets married, that man NEVEEEEEERR wants to be around you

MScroggins1990 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 10:59

Wht were u thinking????

Okayitwasme 0

Sunday 29 January 2012 2:49

Some openers are so strange looking and odd to use. I was opening a can at my inlaws, and the juice started to dribble everywhere! The style I was using removed the seal. Awkward!

loveispain19 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 18:14

MEH!!!

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

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You deserved it 9 781

The Top

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Today, I found out that my nephew isn’t actually aroace (aromantic/asexual). He lied so I would stop asking him about his love life. FML

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You deserved it 1 989

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 030

You deserved it 3 277

Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML

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You deserved it 177

Today, my boss is out of the office and sent me an e-mail asking me to multiply two numbers together and send her the result. Apparently she doesn't know that her smartphone has a calculator app. FML

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Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

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You deserved it 31 749