Love: Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m.... - FML

By nekal - 21/09/2016 16:50 - United States - Nashville

Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 949

You deserved it 3 670

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Same thing different taste

Steve McQueen would be ashamed

By thatsureshowedme - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I tried to climb out of my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "great" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 230

You deserved it 30 916

Wrong place, wrong time

By lug_nut - 06/01/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 3 334

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 433

By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 17:33 - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I was bitched out at 2 a.m. by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 041

You deserved it 3 988

By Anonymous - 27/08/2012 07:29 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 478

You deserved it 10 216

By Kaz - 07/05/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 586

You deserved it 50 276

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 510

Stealthy

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 07:29 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents awoke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 283

You deserved it 29 773

By kierstin - 19/10/2009 15:54 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 6 850

Tired

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left home to go to work, only to find that my car had a flat tyre. No problem, I thought, I'll just change it. That's when I discovered that I'd left my spare tyre at the mechanic's last time I had a flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 281

Next

Top comments

Kchchan288 5

Thursday 22 September 2016 9:27

Why sneak out? Are you trying to hide something? (Start of every fight)

Ash_U78 12

Thursday 22 September 2016 13:58

Just change the flat and leave. Every woman should be able to change a tire by herself. It's not hard to do, and it's a part of being self sufficient. My dad wouldn't let me get my license until I could change out my tire, change my own oil, and replace my own battery.

Comments

buttcrackles 9

Saturday 24 September 2016 2:01

Are you and I reading the same FML?

J352SAURUS 30

Saturday 24 September 2016 4:48

What the ****, hahaha.

JackFaire 27

Monday 26 September 2016 14:51

I am legitimately there are more on the "I agree side" This seems to be a case of "Disrespecting the rules of his parents house" situation which well flat tire is like instant karma.

MulticoloredSlug 18

Thursday 29 September 2016 1:11

I would have walked home.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 166

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 515

The Top

Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 2 287

Today, I tore my calf muscle while skipping and singing Yellow Brick Road. I'm off my foot for 4-6 weeks and don't even have a cool story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 407

Today, while teaching my brother to drive on the freeway, I told him to downshift from 4th to 3rd. He went into 1st instead, blowing my engine and transmission. I can't afford to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 560

Today, I asked my boyfriend of 3 years what he thought about marriage in the future. "Who knows? We might meet other people soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 223

You deserved it 2 449

Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 228

Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 797

You deserved it 7 570