Work and Embarrassing: Stealth mode activated

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 325

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Same thing different taste

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 396

You deserved it 7 514

By tracelee - 03/03/2009 09:22 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 526

You deserved it 13 245

By Ilovelife07 - 14/01/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 732

You deserved it 46 540

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 6 036

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 401

Ninja move

By kiran - 24/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 073

You deserved it 39 647

Ohhh, wham bam thank you ma'am

By gagus123 - 28/10/2021 02:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I accidentally left the handbrake off in my car, got out, locked it, and started walking away. Then I heard a loud noise and looked over my shoulder and the car was gone. Of course, it hit the only other car parked in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 949

By JulieKid - 04/05/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 527

You deserved it 7 802

Stealthy

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 07:29 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents awoke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 282

You deserved it 29 769

By picklemonger - 08/12/2011 19:58 - Canada

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 606

You deserved it 33 440

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Tuesday 22 October 2024 0:17

Would’ve been better if you’d flung the keys into a nearby storm sewer as you fell.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 21 October 2024 23:18

Well we can rule out 'ninja' as your job. Unless you're a shit ninja. Did you train for your job by watching 90s movies about 3 little ninja boys?

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 21 October 2024 23:18

Well we can rule out 'ninja' as your job. Unless you're a shit ninja. Did you train for your job by watching 90s movies about 3 little ninja boys?

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Tuesday 22 October 2024 0:17

Would’ve been better if you’d flung the keys into a nearby storm sewer as you fell.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Awkward Work Mental health Stressed out Health Gross Love Family Weddings AITA Am I overreacting? Phone calls Embarrassing Relatable Shoes Pranks Cute Kids Farts Birthday Parents Argument Neighbours Keys Students Wanker Intimacy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I thought of the saying “TV killed the radio star”, because in the show I'm currently watching it is so dark most of the time that you can neither see people’s faces, nor what is actually happening. If that’s modern television, we might just as well go back to radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 178

Today, I got in an argument with my boss and I dared him to fire me because he has always said he couldn’t run the shop without me. Turns out he was just being nice all this time, my job could in fact be done by his 14 year-old niece with no training in two thirds the time. Yes, he fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 788

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 504

You deserved it 23 707

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 669

You deserved it 12 246

Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 102

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 925

You deserved it 639

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom, but she decided I was “unsuitable.” I hoped he’d be on my side. Nope, he just accepted her word as law, broke up with me, and pushed me outside. He'd driven me there, so I had to find a bus in a city I’ve never been to, in the dark, without a coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 120

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 839

You deserved it 13 607