Work: Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work....

By dicksonthebrain - 26/09/2014 13:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 279

You deserved it 6 649

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Same thing different taste

By Jay - 06/05/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 453

You deserved it 3 392

By TrolleyCollector - 13/05/2016 09:10 - Australia - Seymour

Today, at work, the shopping carts have coin locks on them so people put them back or don't go stealing them. A lady couldn't find a coin, so I unlocked one with my key and said to her, "It doesn't look like you will run off and steal it" as a joke. She replied, "I can't run darling, I have an artificial leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 174

You deserved it 2 004

By NoMoney4Me - 24/09/2012 10:48 - United States - York

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 802

You deserved it 3 982

Stars of CCTV

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, I had a discussion with my boss. I work at a self storage, and told her that we need 8 more security cameras so that we can cover all the hallways. She decided to get 2 put into the office so she can spy on her employees instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 124

By StarDust5921 - 04/10/2016 01:55 - United States - Utica

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 857

You deserved it 2 181

By bakedplum - 01/11/2011 17:52 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 808

You deserved it 23 820

By gregoyles - 15/02/2009 09:06 - United States

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 097

You deserved it 44 176

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 02:02

Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 150

A cashier's life

By amy - 16/10/2013 21:52 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 826

You deserved it 3 982

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 14:55 - United States - Harbor City

Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 303

You deserved it 626

Welshite 39

Friday 26 September 2014 17:26

It's important to use protection. An eight inch black lockable one is sure to be safe.

devildog562 33

Friday 26 September 2014 17:27

"Once you go black, you're going to need a wheelchair."

Comments

cartedor 18

Saturday 27 September 2014 0:32

once you go black, you can never go back. awesome cool boss. may i work with you ladies?

blondebutterfly8 5

Saturday 27 September 2014 3:01

how is this an FML? that's funny

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 27 September 2014 3:30

Unless she was expecting 12 inches, how is this an FML, for you or the boss?

willliamfriend 18

Saturday 27 September 2014 6:53

???

chrisstachon 30

Saturday 27 September 2014 8:38

damn straight bigger and stronger one for sure you know to be safe

mrjiggles1992 18

Saturday 27 September 2014 10:44

How is this even a FML? :( Sounds like a good down to earth I'm. Not your boss, boss!

bombielol 20

Saturday 27 September 2014 10:59

I would have gotten the 4 inch yellow one

daughternature 7

Saturday 27 September 2014 19:41

How is this a FML? Your boss sounds awesome!

brendejafulable 41

Saturday 27 September 2014 21:16

Thats what I would have chosen too.

12VCumminsCowboy 5

Sunday 28 September 2014 1:59

Should've gotten the 10" inch instead.

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The Top

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

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You deserved it 6 977

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

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You deserved it 29 276

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 358

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 278

You deserved it 39 797

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I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 2 255

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 89

Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 878

Same thing different taste

Stars of CCTV

A cashier's life

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