Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young...

By Cooper491 - 15/09/2011 21:22 - Australia

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 60 902

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Same thing different taste

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 989

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

By Ashley - 07/10/2013 06:11 - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 279

You deserved it 8 083

By horp - 29/09/2015 22:00 - United States - Torrington

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 676

You deserved it 9 129

By I already have one, thanks - 09/08/2014 05:59 - Australia - Mosman

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 336

You deserved it 3 085

By brokennose - 26/08/2009 04:40 - United States

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 784

You deserved it 67 562

By JohnFarrell - 24/04/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 526

You deserved it 66 025

By Noname - 20/02/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 184

You deserved it 25 117

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 745

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 55 526

Mauskau 35

Friday 16 September 2011 1:08

You're an asshole

Thalankwyte69 0

Friday 16 September 2011 1:07

thats dumb to throw a peanut at him. YDI

Comments

XxDancerGirlxX 17

Friday 16 September 2011 6:15

**** your friend's life.

hero87 3

Friday 16 September 2011 6:17

Thumbs up for collateral damage.

tahvoh 3

Friday 16 September 2011 6:41

where did you get peanuts at a bar?

BellaBelle_fml 23

Friday 16 September 2011 8:20

Bars are notorious for having peanuts. A bar that doesn't have peanuts is like a McDonald's that doesn't have fries.

HurleyCarlton 0

Friday 16 September 2011 6:45

You're friend is a pussy for not serving you the ass whoopin that you were entitled for!

baconboy_42 8

Friday 16 September 2011 6:57

See what happens when you taunt others. Hopefully you have learned a lesson in respect.

rwq891 4

Friday 16 September 2011 7:16

So you pissed off someone and the hid in the bathroom while your friend took your beating. Some friend you are.

Brooks2011 5

Friday 16 September 2011 7:18

Your boy got knocked out and you weren't there to help him share that ass whooping? You're horrible

kareltje 17

Friday 16 September 2011 7:26

Grow up, you baby! Sorry about your friend. But don't worry, Karma will double back and bite you in the ass. It always does.

The_creator_fml 2

Friday 16 September 2011 7:51

Man thats nuts.... Lol

frankwolf86 0

Friday 16 September 2011 8:45

**** your life? seriously... sir you r a massive douche

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 38 799

You deserved it 18 488

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I agree, your life sucks 37 760

You deserved it 5 738

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I agree, your life sucks 14 115

You deserved it 2 410

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I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 232

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 504

You deserved it 4 934

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 217

You deserved it 12 772

Same thing different taste

Pissed

Fight Club

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