Health: Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two...

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 563

You deserved it 5 935

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 486

You deserved it 5 290

The trumpets of doom

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 15:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 84

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 976

You deserved it 7 929

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 656

You deserved it 7 793

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 402

You deserved it 48 873

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 890

You deserved it 2 909

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 7 041

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 225

You deserved it 3 219

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 5 278

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 301

You deserved it 7 529

eyehurts 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:07

sucks fyl but next time only take one?

SweetieLish 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:41

Yeah, if it was just "slight" constipation, why take 2? Just take one and see how it goes.

Comments

omghehehe 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 1:32

ohh well :) You have to poop, you have to poop. Just wash after for god sakes :D Don't eat much too. It can trigger more. hehehe

movies12 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 1:35

Ok, for the ******* idiots saying girls don't take a crap, r u sooo stupid. Well obviously we do, we are humans 2 aren't we. I guess guys think we are non shiting humans.

HookEmTexas07 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 3:25

*sigh* This is for you http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

alexandraa_fml 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 4:13

Now make your wrist limp and hit your chest repeatedly.

FruityLoooons 8

Wednesday 18 November 2009 6:36

OHHHHH MYYYY GAAAAWSH. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. I hope you're not serious. I really do. :D Because if you are...just...just go sit in a corner or something. Like, right now.