Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized... - FML

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 668

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Same thing different taste

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 162

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 46 580

By anonymous - 14/09/2010 07:57 - United States

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 310

You deserved it 6 915

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 62 561

No tip for you

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:34 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 11 984

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 086

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 7 790

By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 580

You deserved it 35 723

By Anonymous - 05/02/2012 15:45 - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 893

You deserved it 5 070

By Hotsauce887 - 29/03/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 261

You deserved it 25 655

Next

Top comments

dimkims 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 23:21

Eating a burrito makes you "cool"?

DeadMansCrack 4

Sunday 30 August 2009 23:23

I fail to see how eating burritos makes you "cool"

Comments

miriamfrank 22

Wednesday 27 May 2015 7:26

That's what you get for trying to be cool and sexy while eating a burrito.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 527

You deserved it 1 300

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

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The Top

Today, I misread a message that said they needed someone to volunteer for an event. Since the message was from my committee senior, I read the volunteer part and said yes. I missed the "and host it" part so now I have to give a speech in front of all the senior professors and the guests. FML

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You deserved it 613

Today, I found out that my fiancé has been lying about where she lives to avoid me. I think she's also sleeping with who was supposed to be the best man at our wedding. FML

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You deserved it 107

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

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You deserved it 2 792

Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, the strange cat that has adopted me inexplicably made its way into my house and curled up next to my head while I slept. I'm horribly allergic. FML

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You deserved it 1 590

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

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You deserved it 26 350

Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML

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You deserved it 26 131