Kids: Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest...

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 510

You deserved it 9 734

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 642

You deserved it 6 653

By butisavedyourkid - 06/06/2013 04:13 - United States

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 268

You deserved it 3 542

By zain - 04/06/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 922

You deserved it 3 691

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 300

By pod - 25/06/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 669

You deserved it 5 408

By JuggaloSlasher15 - 08/08/2013 23:03 - United States

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 751

You deserved it 6 803

Gotcha good

By fuck you, dad - 08/02/2014 20:54 - United States - Bellflower

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 829

You deserved it 18 666

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 517

You deserved it 3 845

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 150

You deserved it 6 231

kenjiisown 1

Friday 13 August 2010 23:22

Drown him.

schwancy 2

Friday 13 August 2010 23:24

Tell his parents they owe you a new phone, and that their son is a little shit.

Comments

RedInThaHead 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 8:59

pussy

gunman15 4

Saturday 14 August 2010 9:57

tell the dad he owes you a new blackberry even if you didn't have one to start with

Destruct0r 5

Saturday 14 August 2010 11:39

#64 smart guy

Shivermeshamrock 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 13:00

Well you did get him out of the pool. Just not for long. ',: )

snowstorm_fml 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 13:29

Make the parents buy you a new phone because his bastard child broke yours

Andygk15 3

Saturday 14 August 2010 14:49

haha u got a smartass kid. FYL

JayJayAttackAtta 5

Saturday 14 August 2010 16:30

81, what should the dad do? leave his two kids at home alone so they tear up the house b4 burning it down?

sportybri101 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 16:39

you should of grabbed the other kid and drove off! Then he would be trying to use you WET cellphone to call daddy!

TVSkunky 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 17:45

I would have beat his ass.

FerrariCake 2

Saturday 14 August 2010 20:59

If there were only two boys, there was no "eldest", only an "elder". You have to compare at least three things to invoke the superlative. If you only compare two things, you must use the comparative form. Everyone: feel free to call me "grammar nazi". I welcome it.