Kids: Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently,...

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 15 918

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 399

You deserved it 17 297

Charlie

By Jonathan lemon - 22/10/2021 20:00

Today, I picked my son up from school, and asked how his day went. He told me how his friend explained to him that his mommy snorts sugar with his uncle, and if he could try what his friend's mom calls "Booger sugar" when we got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 91

Creepy kid

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 16:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I realized it was mistake telling my son to toughen up and fight his own battles when he told me he was getting bullied. Apparently, his idea of fighting his own battles involves ipecac. I don't know where he got it, but when I asked, he just gave the Kubrick stare and denied knowing what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 992

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 53 494

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 756

You deserved it 6 027

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 6 157

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 05:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 737

You deserved it 3 336

Off his **** on placebos

By being this dumb should hurt - 17/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I had to stop my son from climbing out the window, slithering on the stairs like a snake, and attempting to call 911 to help bring him down from his “bad trip”. What caused all this? His older brother convinced him the dried mushrooms in the kitchen were ‘shrooms and the idiot beloved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 161

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 636

You deserved it 3 067

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 394

You deserved it 5 225

iAmScrubs 19

Friday 13 May 2011 16:05

He thought he was Charlie Sheen. Don't blame him.

Igor_g5 0

Friday 13 May 2011 16:08

You didn't teach him how to tell real coke from BS. That's where you went wrong.

Comments

TheWicked 4

Saturday 14 May 2011 19:51

Questions is, where did you not go wrong?

Marktheshark 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 20:13

you went wrong by not closing the door when you did actual coke ;)

luckyduckling 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 21:17

First off... By calling him a twerp... I'm not sure that'll make it any better =/

zdbh 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 21:54

hahahahahahqhahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!

rainport 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 23:18

at least he dint look to stupid like at least he dint do it wen hes older so good thing you can steal teach him how to tell real coke from bull shit coke and sell it to the teacher to shut her fuking ass up and hes just trying to be the best he can be

s_bloodnozzle_iz 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 4:36

Hey, it's a common mistake!

blake4months 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:21

i dont know whether YDI or FYL seems 50 50 to me

15NorthFace 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 16:01

did u seriously just call your son a twerp? well there's another area u went wrong in

15NorthFace 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 16:01

did u seriously just call your son a twerp? well there's another area u went wrong in

love15_fml 8

Monday 16 May 2011 5:04

Maybe you went wrong when you started calling him a twerp? It's infuriating to see how many parents wonder why their kids are so messed up when they're the ones who caused the problems. Stop blaming them for your bad parenting! And yes, calling your son names is bad parenting... ever heard of verbal or emotional abuse? YDI

itswhateveridk 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 17:41

agreed. my parents do that... only worse names than twerp haha

kc1997kc 9

Monday 4 July 2011 20:24

there's a difference between verbal abuse and calling your son a twerp. verbal abuse is constantly calling your kid names and not just when your mad. it's all the time and it is a lot worse than twerp. I know someone who was verbally abused. her mom would call he stupid fat ugly a bitch a **** an accident or worse. have we gotten so politically correct that calling your kid a twerp means you are verbally abusing them?