Work: Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened...

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 606

You deserved it 4 359

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 379

You deserved it 3 614

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 171

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 420

You deserved it 3 605

By keerta_fml - 04/05/2017 02:00

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 439

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 6 052

Am I being detained?

By JimmyT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 021

You deserved it 14 496

By Laura - 20/03/2012 22:27 - United Kingdom - Girvan

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 701

By Chris Chandler - 02/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was so parched I had to take way too long at the water fountain. I was drinking for so long a line started to form. As I finished my drink, the guy behind me puked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 530

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 304

You deserved it 3 859

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 382

sansteth94 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:39

tell him to PISS off...your leg lol

mfmylifesrsly 29

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:53

What the world doesn't need is your lack of spelling and grammar.

Comments

girlylaxfool 3

Tuesday 19 April 2011 2:12

lifes a bitch...

bleepbloopthis 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 2:24

I'd punch the crap out of him

ImmortalKratos 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 2:30

bet that really pissed you off OP

nukennick 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 2:38

why the hell were u drawing blood from drunks

Elledanae 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 2:45

Why were you drawing blood in the first place?

pvtpilot 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 3:05

I was picturing a doctors office or a pharmacy. where the hell were you that this could happen?

sgtrobswifey 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 3:13

Actually it is common in the emergency fields in the us, but I'm pretty sure ijustlol is an adolescent. Probably why she didn't realize it happens all the time.

TraceCase_ 19

Tuesday 19 April 2011 3:17

OP, why were you all by yourself, surrounded by drunk people? If someone had your back, you wouldn't get pissed on and you could stab jackasses who threaten you as hard as you like when you draw blood.

sgtrobswifey 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 3:18

They could possibly work on an ambulance where that actually happens quite often. Needs to be done after traffic crashes if you suspect the driver is drunk, and many other scenarios.. don't feel like listing them all though.