Work: Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened...

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 606

You deserved it 4 359

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Same thing different taste

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 379

You deserved it 3 614

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 171

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 420

You deserved it 3 605

By keerta_fml - 04/05/2017 02:00

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 439

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 6 052

Am I being detained?

By JimmyT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 021

You deserved it 14 496

By Laura - 20/03/2012 22:27 - United Kingdom - Girvan

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 701

By Chris Chandler - 02/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was so parched I had to take way too long at the water fountain. I was drinking for so long a line started to form. As I finished my drink, the guy behind me puked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 530

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 304

You deserved it 3 859

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 382

sansteth94 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:39

tell him to PISS off...your leg lol

mfmylifesrsly 29

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:53

What the world doesn't need is your lack of spelling and grammar.

Comments

Nicnats 3

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:53

why were u drawing blood from a drunk? wouldn't that b bad?

cherryblossomchi 4

Tuesday 19 April 2011 6:01

it's part of the job...they don't decide who to draw blood from. and they were probably getting a blood alcohol level

lovemeorloseme7 4

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:58

i really dont see how this FML got through.....it's not specific enough (well none of them really are, but at least you can make out in most of them whats actually going on). my best guess on while blood is being drawn in this FML is either its at a blood drive or something crazy like they were forced to draw the blood because drunks request stupid things. lol :) just my opinion though. still a lousy FML.

LOLbomb 1

Tuesday 19 April 2011 1:23

ikr!? I've seen well over a dozen good FML's on the moderate page that have never made it through. And yet they still insist on passing this bullshit through. "Comment Moderated" my ass. :/

LoveMeMayBoo 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:58

that's to funny!! hahaha!!

johnydazzles 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 1:01

ydi for helping drunk people

mintcar 9

Tuesday 19 April 2011 1:01

Wow, poorly written.

cherryblossomchi 4

Tuesday 19 April 2011 6:03

how is that poorly written? Do you not understand English?

mintcar 9

Tuesday 19 April 2011 8:05

133, shut up! The mods edited the FML.

joanliv 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 14:55

agreed in confused haha

mintcar 9

Tuesday 19 April 2011 15:41

133, shut up! The mods fixed the mistake.

Mongoose19 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 1:04

how did you manage to get yourself into that situation???

Verz21 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 1:05

where the **** were you?

cobras40 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 1:07

why the **** u taken drunk mans blood dumbass ydi

ugliness 6

Tuesday 19 April 2011 2:03

because op works at a hospital...

cobras40 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 3:16

alcohol effects your blood

BlargHonk 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 3:22

Somehow, you're smart enough to realize that, but not enough to realize that that's the entire point. Blood isn't always drawn for donations. The OP could have been drawing it to get the person's blood alcohol level.