Intimacy: Today, I was cleaning out my little sister's bedroom as she moved...

You seriously need to work on controlling your anger. That’s no way to act upon seeing a simple joke. You’ll find yourself in trouble once you become an adult if you continue to make unprovoked insults like that.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 13 September 2018 8:20

Turn it into a wearable butt plug!

Anastasiia Bogolepova 10

Thursday 13 September 2018 8:39

Oh honey... Welcome to the world of sex.. It's called strap-on..

EinVoegelein 8

Thursday 13 September 2018 13:47

How do you know that? There are more wearable vibrators than just strap-ons.

Davros 12

Thursday 13 September 2018 8:49

Did it still work?

whiskey'swino 15

Thursday 13 September 2018 9:15

I'm sure it is a bigger loss to her than the bit of your brain you need to scrub.

Zeatha Mistron 7

Thursday 13 September 2018 10:01

Blackmail

nubs 22

Thursday 13 September 2018 10:03

Nice 👌😂 Did you try it out?

julfunky 29

Thursday 13 September 2018 12:20

Rule #87 in life: Never “try out” your family’s sex toys.

real life problems 26

Thursday 13 September 2018 12:54

Yeah you just sell them to perverts on craigslist

Johnny5 16

Thursday 13 September 2018 16:47

Like a strap on that vibrates? Or like a vibe you walk around with all day?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 970

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 207

You deserved it 4 187

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 903

You deserved it 4 519

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 532

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 014

You deserved it 3 045

Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 668

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 628

You deserved it 24 944