Love: Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics...

By what the actual fuck - 11/08/2012 16:38 - United States - Puyallup

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 917

You deserved it 4 072

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Same thing different taste

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 348

By jflac - 24/12/2014 12:03 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 967

You deserved it 2 849

New toy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 124

By Alisha-_- - 23/11/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 236

You deserved it 447

By Anonymous - 05/11/2017 15:00

Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 500

You deserved it 433

The Ex

By unKnown621 - 18/06/2021 11:01 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my (now ex) boyfriend and I had a fight, during which he said, "This is why I talk to other girls." I called him out for admitting to cheating and he told me I was toxic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 225

By Just an Exam - 14/12/2016 18:37 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on his final exam. I confronted him after class by jokingly asking, "If you cheated on a test, would you cheat on me?" Turns out that yes, yes he would, and he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 393

You deserved it 841

By poop - 06/02/2011 18:26 - United States

Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 899

You deserved it 4 748

What?

By clueless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 256

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 337

JustDerpin 11

Sunday 12 August 2012 0:23

I love your username, OP.

MURIKKA 11

Sunday 12 August 2012 0:23

The line, he crossed it.

Comments

Keep_It_Hot99 8

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:07

He loved you? Just kidding, you should change your name and move far, far away, 'cause that's just crazy.

ladybuggirl1234 3

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:30

At least you know now and not later....

jem970 19

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:39

He still loves you! :,D

darthzerg 7

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:41

Way to be a liberal

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:42

Weirdo

thekmjenks 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 7:23

Are you sure he hasn't been reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" without you knowing?

XxXkyttiXxX 11

Sunday 12 August 2012 7:32

I told my boyfriend the same thing, without the "suspected” part.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 12 August 2012 7:46

what a jerk...trust is a factor and now it looks like he never had it for you...and now it looks like not a healthy relationship run or leave...

darkcrystal87 7

Sunday 12 August 2012 11:34

I'd "torture the shit out of you" just for kinky role play. FYL

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Sunday 12 August 2012 13:37

Well I guess you're not too sorry that his not your boyfriend any more... :)

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The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 688

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with, "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 338

You deserved it 8 939

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 586

You deserved it 4 992

Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me 4 times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift 2 days in a row, apparently that is insensitive of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 766

You deserved it 262

Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change. Being a good man, I said sure. I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. After walking into Starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the cashier my $50 bill. She called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 891

You deserved it 23 525

Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 2 555

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 928

You deserved it 5 201