It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 348

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 284

You deserved it 30 208

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 232

Check this out

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 4 544

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 533

By anony - 27/02/2013 13:49 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 722

You deserved it 6 693

By wtfuraretard - 19/02/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 020

You deserved it 5 209

YouTubers must be stopped

By TuT - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 593

You deserved it 4 301

By pod - 25/06/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 668

You deserved it 5 408

By Today - 07/09/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 302

You deserved it 6 597

By Anonymous - 26/04/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 487

You deserved it 398

Aiden89 23

Monday 30 March 2020 23:31

I’m sorry OP, I genuinely laughed out loud. He sounds hilarious

SexAndStarbucks 12

Tuesday 31 March 2020 3:17

Quarantine day 12 be like...

Comments

Amanda Howard 9

Monday 30 March 2020 23:31

he needs therapy

Aiden89 23

Monday 30 March 2020 23:31

I’m sorry OP, I genuinely laughed out loud. He sounds hilarious

sarkycow 25

Thursday 2 April 2020 16:41

Ditto, and I laughed so loud I woke my husband up. I would still be laughing if I saw my husband doing that.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 March 2020 23:50

He's waterboarding his dick? The CIA might recruit him. What kind of operational intelligence did he recover from his ****? Perhaps the location and readiness of some seamen?

Wadlaen 23

Monday 30 March 2020 23:58

One of the risks of drinking before bathing...

JackWood 20

Tuesday 31 March 2020 1:11

Mmmmm wonder who's next? Run and run fast.

WistayShlaio82 13

Tuesday 31 March 2020 2:05

Maybe give him more attention so he’s not so angry?

redvibes23 14

Tuesday 31 March 2020 3:13

What was he even asking

SexAndStarbucks 12

Tuesday 31 March 2020 3:17

Quarantine day 12 be like...

sickerthanyou 13

Tuesday 31 March 2020 4:50

Wouldn’t be better if he punished his penis in you?

katydid91 31

Tuesday 31 March 2020 8:48

To each his own.

Keywords

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You deserved it 5 868

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Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 918

You deserved it 6 363

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I agree, your life sucks 10 013

You deserved it 31 752

Today, I actually overheard the sentence, “People who can’t go vegan for medical reasons should die gracefully rather than eat an animal.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 132

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 337

You deserved it 2 138

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I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 113

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 920

You deserved it 5 325

It's a witch!

Same thing different taste

Check this out

YouTubers must be stopped

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