It's a witch!

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It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 353

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 30 231

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 236

Check this out

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 877

You deserved it 4 546

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 488

You deserved it 8 538

By anony - 27/02/2013 13:49 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 733

You deserved it 6 697

By wtfuraretard - 19/02/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 022

You deserved it 5 210

YouTubers must be stopped

By TuT - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 605

You deserved it 4 308

By pod - 25/06/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 674

You deserved it 5 408

By Today - 07/09/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 310

You deserved it 6 599

By Anonymous - 26/04/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 492

You deserved it 400

Aiden89 23

Monday 30 March 2020 23:31

I’m sorry OP, I genuinely laughed out loud. He sounds hilarious

SexAndStarbucks 12

Tuesday 31 March 2020 3:17

Quarantine day 12 be like...

Comments

Amanda Howard 9

Monday 30 March 2020 23:31

he needs therapy

Aiden89 23

Monday 30 March 2020 23:31

I’m sorry OP, I genuinely laughed out loud. He sounds hilarious

sarkycow 25

Thursday 2 April 2020 16:41

Ditto, and I laughed so loud I woke my husband up. I would still be laughing if I saw my husband doing that.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 March 2020 23:50

He's waterboarding his dick? The CIA might recruit him. What kind of operational intelligence did he recover from his ****? Perhaps the location and readiness of some seamen?

Wadlaen 23

Monday 30 March 2020 23:58

One of the risks of drinking before bathing...

JackWood 20

Tuesday 31 March 2020 1:11

Mmmmm wonder who's next? Run and run fast.

WistayShlaio82 13

Tuesday 31 March 2020 2:05

Maybe give him more attention so he’s not so angry?

redvibes23 14

Tuesday 31 March 2020 3:13

What was he even asking

SexAndStarbucks 12

Tuesday 31 March 2020 3:17

Quarantine day 12 be like...

sickerthanyou 13

Tuesday 31 March 2020 4:50

Wouldn’t be better if he punished his penis in you?

katydid91 31

Tuesday 31 March 2020 8:48

To each his own.

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Miscellaneous Gross Weird Food Shopping Clothes Technology Games Annoying Disney Kids Cute Empathy Family Bullying Ironic Embarrassing Parents Awkward Surprise Party Friends Relatable LGBTQIA+ Love Health Diets Bodyshaming Mental health AITA

The Top

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 375

You deserved it 2 571

Today, it's the third day that I've been ghosted by a Christian boy who's still a virgin. Don’t get me wrong, I think that’s cute, and I liked him a lot. I’m just confused because he asked me out to church last week. He’s really sweet, but maybe he was just trying to convert me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 198

The Top

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 123

You deserved it 2 955

Today, a mom got pissed at me when I didn’t help her kid after it smacked its face into a table on the train. I got up and walked to a new table while she still yelled at me for 10 minutes. Not my mistake, so maybe watch your own mistakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 153

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 671

You deserved it 9 381

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 588

You deserved it 3 607

Today, my son is still single in his forties, so I asked him about it. Turns out, because he has his buddies and doesn’t want kids, he hires a house cleaning service twice a month and prostitutes twice a week, so he can’t think of any scenario in which a wife could improve his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 628

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 471

You deserved it 3 788

It's a witch!

Same thing different taste

Check this out

YouTubers must be stopped

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