Animals: Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an...

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 61 670

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 02:08 - United States - Gardnerville

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 979

You deserved it 3 581

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 997

You deserved it 2 222

By Locked Out - 14/05/2013 19:11 - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 770

You deserved it 3 544

By NightHawk4926 - 09/09/2015 22:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 341

You deserved it 1 751

No good deed…

By Pierce - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 14 year-old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us, and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 209

You deserved it 4 569

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 211

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 901

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 892

You deserved it 3 639

Just do it

By tulisa - 21/02/2015 04:25 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 371

You deserved it 4 464

randomdude1234 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 16:07

karma's a bitch

Ahay 3

Tuesday 2 June 2009 16:18

this quite possibly could be the dumbest FML i've read in a while.

Comments

tbone694 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:06

******

gymnastchick729 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:15

i bet that bird read the article....

Dragonmouth 4

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:14

UCSD!

ringleboben2 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:18

Dont ya just love karma?

TASagent 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:25

W00t! UCSD! I've been attacked by that ******* bird. There's a Facebook support group for her victims :-p

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:51

well, u totally deserved it and #76, lol!!!

wiffleballer 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 23:05

Karma'S a birch

necromancerlord 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 23:09

. __________ . ( )_________) _ . .------____/ ============================ . / ________________/ . | ___--_/(_) . |___--- Problem solved.

capslock44 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 23:13

You got pwned by karma

Sunchild1235 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 23:14

haha oh no! I love birds! But not when they are flying towards Me!!!!

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 3 309

The Top

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 089

You deserved it 4 471

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 469

You deserved it 3 346

Today, I think I've figured out why I haven't had any replies to my job applications, or just weird ones. I was sending them from an old email address, which is something like "69_party_dude_420@…" (that's not the actual address, so don't @ me!) instead of my professional one, which is listed on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 536

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 912

You deserved it 3 758

Today, I have a zit on the edge of my nostril, along with severe allergies. I can no longer tell if my tears are from pain or hay fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 96

Today, my friend and I stopped at a convenience store. She mentioned that it was was "a bad part of town", and I angrily reminded her that just because it's a poor area doesn't make it bad, and that she needed to be more tolerant. We then got jumped, beaten, and robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 188

Same thing different taste

No good deed…

Just do it

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