Miscellaneous: Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious...

By diggingaplotforone - 11/08/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 188

You deserved it 9 583

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 483

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 988

By Cowan - 06/08/2009 12:27 - Belgium

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor… who is a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 860

You deserved it 125 386

By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 22:47 - United States - Sparks

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 441

You deserved it 3 832

By nothingtoseeherejuststealingtrees - 05/04/2016 20:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 837

You deserved it 1 334

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 12:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 261

You deserved it 1 294

By uugnfg - 27/07/2010 04:38 - United States

Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 587

You deserved it 30 377

By Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 7 988

Hiya!

By Jon - 05/05/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 539

You deserved it 47 390

Better call Saul

By possibly a sweater - 05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 566

You deserved it 24 509

igive 29

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:07

Plant drugs in his house and call the cops.

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Sunday 12 August 2012 5:11

couldn't be gardening, **** no, that'd be WEIRD

Comments

shellby4 3

Sunday 12 August 2012 10:27

I have one of those fuckball neighbours as well!

bobplayshockey 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 10:59

Wow... People are so stupid these days and don't understand sarcasm

AllyyK 9

Sunday 12 August 2012 11:19

I know how you feel, my neighbors are nosy fuckballs too :|

carmel1110 12

Sunday 12 August 2012 11:42

He must be a douchebag or maybe he really doesn't get sarcasm. FYL

blacksswan 10

Sunday 12 August 2012 11:49

Am I the only one who was left wondering why was he digging in his yard?

isaiaah 6

Sunday 12 August 2012 11:49

Well your neighbor shouldn't e a nosy prick but probably not the best joke to choose:p

Bunaf 4

Sunday 12 August 2012 13:56

I'll have to try that when I install a pool in my backyard. Let the cops dig the hole for me!

avaeba 14

Sunday 12 August 2012 15:00

Having the cops called sucks but at least once they were done your neighbor looked like a total jackass. If they dug up or damaged your yard you should sue him

JayBee14 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 15:17

Damn I hate people who don't understand blatant sarcasm

l0v3p4in 7

Sunday 12 August 2012 15:18

OP, you rightly deserve it. Despite your neighbor's supposed inclination toward stupidity, you drove right into. [I can only imagine that you're the one with the horrible attitude. I bet a simple "Hello, Good morning! How ya doing over there?" is easily interpreted to you as that 'nosy fuckball' neighbor.] In today's world, where everyday a news story mentionsanother murder, shooting, abduction, abuse, etc... it's highly likely that you could be a part of the group of psychos out there [as your neighbor thought]. Don't joke with shit like that because you never know who's hiding skeletons in their backyard. I commend the neighbor. At least he had the balls to get you checked out by the cops after a comment like that. Stories always come out where witnesses thought there was somethingstrange about the suspect, but let it slide because they 'didn't want to get involved.' The 'fuckball' in this story is you.