Miscellaneous: Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked...

By huwauw - 17/09/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 990

You deserved it 7 336

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 03/09/2013 06:31 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 530

You deserved it 12 104

By Rohirus - 07/06/2012 23:09 - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 544

You deserved it 2 560

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 18:41 - United States - Doylestown

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 119

You deserved it 42 999

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 073

You deserved it 3 724

By grapes - 15/11/2015 22:12 - United States - Westfield

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 1 899

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 604

By hannahg - 24/03/2014 00:44 - United States - Romulus

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 408

You deserved it 3 807

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

By anonymous - 22/09/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 910

You deserved it 2 546

Modern Family

By Anonymous - 03/11/2020 23:01 - Australia

Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 266

ChelseaXD 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 2:15

lmao! better straighten up(:

Ethos_fml 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 2:15

Wabaam!

Comments

w1lly 1

Saturday 18 September 2010 16:43

lmfao this is halarious! xD

purpleadios 10

Saturday 18 September 2010 17:14

that's hilarious!!!

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Saturday 18 September 2010 17:30

So sit the **** up straight! It's obviously not the 1st time he's told you to. YDI

nldawgsccr22795 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 18:01

o..kay... then??

Zhu8 5

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:13

Take the fork and shove it up his ass, or just call child services

alleyx3 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 20:43

lol!

SummerRuby 1

Saturday 18 September 2010 22:49

Lmfao, dad win.

HappyItalian 38

Saturday 18 September 2010 23:01

LOL

cupsie89 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 23:21

LMAO BEST. DAD. EVER.

Amber92 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 23:46

My dad threw a fork at me also... It stuck in my side. Because I accidentally hit him in the head with an empty capri sun.

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The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 150

You deserved it 39 590

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 420

You deserved it 34 831

It's called fashion, look it up.

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 87

Today, while trying to get my attention, my dog got her nail stuck in a usb port in my laptop. She freaked out and ran off, dragging it off my lap and through the house before if came off. Her nail was only slightly chipped- my laptop now has a cracked screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 581

You deserved it 8 995

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 896

You deserved it 4 907

Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 636

You deserved it 8 558

Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 158

You deserved it 720

Same thing different taste

Modern Family

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