Kids: Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy...

By John W. - 12/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 643

You deserved it 47 038

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Same thing different taste

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 425

You deserved it 10 379

Road rage

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 552

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 871

You deserved it 19 271

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 523

You deserved it 6 059

AITA?

By Kathryn - 13/08/2011 10:31 - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 403

You deserved it 41 169

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 338

You deserved it 4 850

By MathTeacher - 02/05/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 066

You deserved it 46 120

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 32 268

Rude boy

By Anonymous - 08/02/2015 19:16

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 616

You deserved it 3 763

By Zeco - 05/02/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 233

You deserved it 42 181

xMeganMayhem 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:02

Way to go, douche bag.

Jk530 1

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:00

I agree with your son.

Comments

Impulseforyou 6

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:48

133-You're a ******* dumbass. Kids will always hear words like "****" everywhere even if it's not from their parents. it could be from anywhere. A lot of people cuss, hell, I say **** all the time, it doesn't make me stupid or ignorant. So basically anyone who cusses is a complete dumbass to you? Shows just what kind of a person you are, you're the ignorant bitch. **** off. :D

tommyfox 19

Monday 24 October 2011 15:58

Like father, like son!

princess151617 4

Tuesday 15 November 2011 0:19

Lmao....

ChelseaKane 0

Monday 19 December 2011 9:11

My kind of kid.

jacklynraex3 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 2:56

Today, I opened a pizza lunchable in an attempt to reconnect with my inner child and instead had a major meltdown that included every profanity under the sun when I found out there was no little plastic spatula to spread the sauce. FML

Tristan22 0

Friday 20 January 2012 7:17

Ive taught him well

Benelli_SkM 0

Friday 27 January 2012 15:31

What a badass.

scrtasnman13 5

Wednesday 29 February 2012 5:29

Haha that's great, can't wait to hear the follow-up to this when he starts using that at school

linarahmany 6

Saturday 3 March 2012 4:56

I remember when i was little 1 of my older brothers said that to the other 1 and I coppied them and they told me not to say it again and I'm all like but that's not a bad word