Miscellaneous: Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started... - FML

By ohmygod - 20/06/2013 05:49 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 8 453

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 13/03/2009 15:49 - Canada

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 719

You deserved it 12 916

Randy Mandy

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 23:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I was eating lunch with my grandmother when a very muscular young man entered the restaurant. As soon as he walked in, my 70-year-old widowed grandmother looked at him and said, out loud, "Ooh, eye candy!" Everyone in the restaurant began staring at us, and the poor guy's face was red as a tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 127

Annie's Song

By David - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 931

You deserved it 385

Boobaloo

By nerdlette - 15/03/2014 19:34 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 129

You deserved it 4 034

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 193

Stuck

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 20:01

Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 120

By poro123 - 05/11/2012 05:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 380

You deserved it 4 878

By Anonymous - 23/02/2015 07:45 - United States - Hatfield

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 452

You deserved it 3 380

By yerface - 13/02/2009 03:52 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 740

You deserved it 8 735

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 506

You deserved it 4 074

Next

Top comments

Ranimal 12

Thursday 20 June 2013 11:55

Elderly people for the win, again.

grahmagog 14

Thursday 20 June 2013 11:58

I got the moobs like jabba

Comments

buddy51 23

Thursday 20 June 2013 16:06

At least grammaw had the self control to not try to give you a man-breast lump exam!

Shaved_Llamas 11

Thursday 20 June 2013 16:22

Does your grandmother have Alzheimer's disease? If she does I feel sympathy for her, if not maybe she was just joking with you. :D or maybe you just look a lot like a chick.. endless possibilities !

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 20 June 2013 16:54

Grandparents FTW....

Nohman 14

Thursday 20 June 2013 17:57

Well, are you?

pattayarick 8

Thursday 20 June 2013 18:09

Usually, it's my goal to get breasts. And the rest of the woman. I will pass on yours.

spekledworf 18

Thursday 20 June 2013 18:12

Turkey breasts, I'm sure. They make great sandwhiches

LookAttMyyLifee 12

Thursday 20 June 2013 19:22

Tell her , I see your starting to sag..

nishantvas 13

Thursday 20 June 2013 19:27

now I wonder if you're a boy of a girl, if you're a boy, that would've been hilarious !! XD

VioletSkies 21

Thursday 20 June 2013 20:13

It says at the end of the FML, "I'm a guy."

swimgood 16

Thursday 20 June 2013 21:30

What I'd give to be a fly on the wall

SirEbro 7

Friday 21 June 2013 0:35

I hope she didn't start feeling them..

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Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 952

You deserved it 4 328

Today, for the third night in a row, I didn't get any sleep, because my neighbor's new dog won't stop barking when the wind blows. Where I live, we get major wind gusts most days of the week. It's going to be another long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 106

Today, I met one of my favorite webcomic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth, he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 497

You deserved it 7 807

Today, I took a nap while babysitting my neighbor's kids for the day. I was woken up by an obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair stuck down in his shorts, jumping around like a horse. Oh, and a semi-bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 570

You deserved it 60 243

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 203

You deserved it 52 261

Today, my girlfriend's dad let me borrow his car for transportation to work because mine got totaled. This car is a complete dump and I've realized he's only letting me use it so it's my fault to fix the broken things on the car. So far, I've had to replace the battery and two popped tires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 040

You deserved it 663