Love: Today, I was feeling down so I thought I'd order a burger to...

By burgerpants - 08/05/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was feeling down so I thought I'd order a burger to cheer myself up. The website I ordered from featured Instagram pics of their customers. My ex and the guy she cheated on me with were front and center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 262

You deserved it 314

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Enjoy!

By sad and hungry - 06/06/2015 14:37 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 6 581

Typecast

By nerd - 16/10/2009 15:08 - Singapore

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 5 759

Oh, hai Mark!

By Erika - 05/05/2019 14:00

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 452

By Anonymous - 09/08/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 367

You deserved it 54 313

Bad day

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 02:04 - United States - White Plains

Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 104

Memories that hurt

By ruinedmoment - 24/02/2011 06:20 - United States

Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and me on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know." Thanks Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 569

You deserved it 8 229

By Darkheaven - 17/11/2008 11:27 - France

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 482

You deserved it 9 484

Tact and charm

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 13:04 - United States

Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 061

You deserved it 4 206

Caught redhanded

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 20:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 795

By hamburglar - 11/08/2016 18:46 - United States - Irving

Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 525

You deserved it 8 506

Donut_Wizard 23

Wednesday 9 May 2018 2:09

Maybe you should go get ice cream instead. Because ice cream listens, ice cream understands.

ChromoTec 24

Wednesday 9 May 2018 2:59

I love your Undertale-related username that fits with the theme. Way to go!

Comments

LycaonVI 6

Wednesday 9 May 2018 18:05

Op it hurts today but Don't sweat it. time heals all wounds......so does 5 guys burgers as well.......and ice cream like that guy said

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 328

You deserved it 41 014

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 950

You deserved it 34 033

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 951

You deserved it 355

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 047

You deserved it 13 420

Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 108

Today, I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend I’m not happy with him anymore. I need advice about how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 589

Today, some idiots set off fireworks close to my house. I was a bit worried, but my uncle assured me it would be fine and left to run an errand. Just minutes later, I looked up to find the tree right next to my wooden balcony engulfed in flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 295

You deserved it 265