Intimacy: Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen...

By Sexylarry - 03/09/2010 19:42 - France

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 627

You deserved it 8 229

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Same thing different taste

Denied

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:28 - Canada

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 4 489

The art of seduction

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 227

By wetqueefa - 03/02/2013 09:58 - United States - Union City

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 3 180

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 337

You deserved it 7 932

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

By lalala - 22/12/2011 17:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 055

You deserved it 7 998

Turn it off

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 06:00

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 171

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 216

By baddormgirl - 19/02/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 47 758

By candy man - 04/09/2014 19:32 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 738

You deserved it 10 777

bambi114 0

Friday 3 September 2010 23:19

I don't blame her . I wouldn't miss my fav tv shows for sex . but sorry anyway

RoccoRox 0

Friday 3 September 2010 23:25

couldn't she record it? or better yet you guys could go at it while gossip girl is on. win win situation.

Comments

Brittaneyyy 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:29

guys have needs but can't blame her it's gossip girl! I would do that to

rwctkd95 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:34

72 supernatural!!!!!

patiencek 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:56

at least she didn't say "not tonight hun, gossip girl is on" that would be an fml!

JenniNikki 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:58

gossip girl will always be better than sex

xxxD3M0Nxxx 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:26

then clearly youve never had any really good sex. if you wanna find out just how much better sex can be let me know. ; )

milo2113 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 8:29

how the hell is that an fml??

TiffanyLianne 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 8:34

Nothing is more important than Gossip Girl :)

crystaltwylyght 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 9:14

obviously, guys have needs. what they need to realize is that girls have needs to, such as girly tv shows

meneedlove 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 9:54

At least she didnt say "No, cause gossip girl will be on soon." :)

crystaltwylyght 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 10:47

my comment was edited :( it was supposed to say "and an unlimited credit card that he pays for"

ROXXSHIZZLE 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 10:58

what's so wrong about that????!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

The Top

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 964

You deserved it 6 317

Today, my husband is in the garden smashing a tree stump with a sledgehammer because our 22 year-old daughter brought her first serious boyfriend home. He’s my husband's boss, a man-whore who has been bragging about all the nasty stuff his new girlfriend does to him in bed, unaware of who her dad was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 109

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 877

You deserved it 333

Today, my housemate revealed her supposed loss of function of her arm was all a lie. I spent hours in the ER with her and had to go to work the next day. Last time she lied about cancer. I'm stuck sharing with her for another 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 386

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 791

You deserved it 1 974

Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 162