Miscellaneous: Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere...

FML for mobile
Free

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 994

You deserved it 18 456

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mediocreboobs - 18/02/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 465

You deserved it 8 896

Introverts! Hide!

By ??? - 17/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 470

By youjustsuck - 25/07/2011 18:07 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 269

You deserved it 12 787

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 774

You deserved it 7 237

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 632

You deserved it 48 175

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 664

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 368

You deserved it 3 725

By ScaredDude - 19/05/2019 04:07

Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 2 014

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 632

You deserved it 34 575

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 342

You deserved it 645

Inoku 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 20:15

He probably screamed because you screamed. What was he supposed to do, wink and give you a thumbs-up?

roflcopterzzz 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 20:20

I bet he had a nice package for you.

Comments

Qup 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:51

if you like to be a nudie, then remember where there are no curtains. I LOL on this one!

Neferria 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 23:41

Y'know, the UPS guy probably screamed because he didn't expect to see a naked woman through the glass door. In addition, she screamed, which in turn probably startled him, causing him to scream as well. It probably wasn't even about her looks at all. So... what was in the package?

purplepickle 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 23:59

whats your problem? calm down. I would scream if i walked into a naked person whos screaming, even if they look great and have a nice body. and just because she wants to watch tv after her shower doesnt mean she watches it all day. its not like we all work out 24/7. What are you doing on the computer anyways? working out? ...

DameGreyWulf 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:03

Yes agreed with 53. I could see the hottest man ever, but would probably scream because WOAH DO NOT WANT (as in, to see someone I don't even know and work for (if I were UPS) naked), especially if he was screaming too. And she just screamed because someone saw her naked when she didn't intend them to. Could have been her own mother, could have been her boyfriend, she's gonna scream because that was completely unexpected and unintended. It's a surprise to both sides. Most people respond vocally to surprises. Basically what 51 said. Also, everybody has the right to walk around naked IN THEIR OWN HOME, ugly/fat or not.

baec 2

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:09

just means your ugly. Sucks for the UPS guy more than you thought. He had to experience it. You should of given him a big tip

kiit23 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:17

Doesn't mean you're ugly or fat, it just probably caught him by surprise. Still, when I walk naked through my house, I make sure its not in front of windows and.. well, glass doors. It sucks, but its kinda deserved because empty house doesn't mean people outside cant see in.

Qup 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:25

nefferia is right. if the UPS guy hadn't screamed, you could have charged him with being a peeping Tom. then where would he be? his defense is his scream.

XanimalloverX 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:38

The funny thing about this is my dad is a pilot for UPS

XanimalloverX 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:44

FYI UPS stands for UNITED PARCAL SERVICE not United Postal Service And I know I am correct because like I said my dad is a PILOT for UPS. So don't argue with me google it