Intimacy: Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door,...

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 334

You deserved it 641

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/03/2014 03:02 - Canada - Rosthern

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 230

You deserved it 4 157

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 665

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 3 340

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 980

You deserved it 18 445

Freeze

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Plano

Today, I was at a party and went to the bathroom. The door was tricky to lock, but in my inebriated state I thought I'd managed it. Apparently, I hadn’t. Midway through my business, the door swung open, and in walked a group of people looking for their coats. We just stared at each other in shock until someone finally closed the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 143

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 659

By Me - 07/03/2012 18:24 - United States

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 514

You deserved it 2 602

Shit's going down

By oGxFoopFoop - 28/05/2020 20:00

Today, I was taking a shit in my friend's bathroom when his brother's girlfriend walked in. Nobody decided to tell me that the lock didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 172

By slashteddy - 09/09/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 959

You deserved it 2 809

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 7 573

nitsud82 14

Friday 19 October 2018 14:15

why was the maintenance guy just walking into your place unannounced?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 4 October 2018 0:08

Your back door was violated while you were wanking? That sounds unpleasant.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 4 October 2018 0:08

Your back door was violated while you were wanking? That sounds unpleasant.

PhoenixChick 26

Friday 19 October 2018 16:10

The worst part was when OPs dad got so mad and jumped downt the guy's throat

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 19 October 2018 18:59

And by sheer coincidence, "How Deep Is Your Love?" was playing on the radio at the time.

nitsud82 14

Friday 19 October 2018 14:15

why was the maintenance guy just walking into your place unannounced?

TumblrweedPasses 11

Friday 19 October 2018 14:24

Servers him right for just barging in

RichardPencil 30

Friday 19 October 2018 17:10

Probably you. Maintenance guys see shit like that all the time.

Chazzster 28

Friday 19 October 2018 19:19

If the maintenance guy came in without knocking or announcing themselves then it’s really an FML. If you were too involved in your “wank” to hear the knock and announcement that he was coming in then YDI.

honestjane 22

Friday 19 October 2018 20:18

This right here. This is why you should always knock.

Tarlachia 33

Friday 19 October 2018 21:10

Did you call in a service request for lube for your door hinges?

PenguinPal3017 19

Saturday 20 October 2018 3:10

My friend lives in an apartment and had to eventually get her locks changed because "maintenance" people kept coming in without notice. They would go through her stuff and even leave her refrigerator door open.