Health: Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my...

By ridella - 08/04/2011 10:35

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 5 471

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 246

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 12:00

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 121

By tm - 18/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Madisonville

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 849

You deserved it 2 103

Ironic

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, on my way out to get salt for the driveway, I fell and split my head. I'm now sitting in the ER waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 91

No pain, no meds

By I don’t stink - 01/05/2020 20:00

Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 309

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 4 399

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 285 185

Acting out

By itsgotime - 20/03/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 359

You deserved it 7 909

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 128

You deserved it 3 238

By clair_brodie - 04/07/2019 20:00

Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 225

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Friday 8 April 2011 15:59

watch those grapes, I nearly had my penis amputated because of one. true story

mrmerino 0

Friday 8 April 2011 16:30

oh my gawd that reminds me of that episode of spongebob where he slips on an ice cube

Comments

pickles2b2 4

Sunday 20 November 2011 17:29

My friend did that! He was walking by some girls ( trying to act tough) and slipped on a grape! He had to grab onto a pole so he didn't fall! lol

bryan788 29

Tuesday 20 December 2011 2:55

My dad did that sneezing

Jake_ToXic 3

Friday 13 January 2012 7:25

not even possible lol do you weigh less than a grape?

iBiteRoses 22

Friday 3 February 2012 1:34

Mad props, man! That's epic!

BCrazzi 9

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:17

I read thsi to my sister and she thought I said 'SLEPT on a grape'.... Just as bad:/

magoogle225 4

Tuesday 24 April 2012 0:47

"What seems to be the problem?" "I slipped on an ice cube (grape) and got covered in boo-boos!"

yellow_jello 3

Monday 27 August 2012 23:10

Watch out,grapes are evil I once choked on one

SofiaFaolan 8

Wednesday 11 September 2013 21:16

I'm sorry OP, but this made me laugh so hard.

miriamfrank 22

Monday 14 September 2015 5:03

Damn, that must have been one hell of a grape.

SmoothGawd 12

Wednesday 17 February 2016 18:22

Please explain how you slipped on a grape

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 85

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 649

You deserved it 5 885

The Top

Today, I watched a video of the absolute dumbest and most dangerous TikTok trends, and I practically lost all my faith in humanity. Then, when I remembered that almost all of these people are/were around my age (I'm eighteen), and whatever faith in humanity I had left after watching the video completely vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 263

Today, I received my Amazon order of a mini massage gun, which I’d been really excited about. I tried it out, but it got tangled in my hair so badly that I had to cut it out. Now I have a bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 246

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 787

You deserved it 4 204

Today, one of my coworkers tried to convince me to be a model for his "foot fetish parties". I politely declined, just as I had the day before, and the day before that. This will probably continue every day, since our schedules are nearly identical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 194

You deserved it 1 708

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 102

You deserved it 3 434

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 206

You deserved it 3 765