Holidays: Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I...

By nick - 22/03/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 262

You deserved it 13 301

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 00:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 185

By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 098

You deserved it 6 550

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 376

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622

Looking cool

By Anonymous - 18/05/2014 04:48 - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 864

You deserved it 6 084

Chonky boi

By Drowned - 07/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 16/08/2016 08:26 - United States - Wasilla

Today, I was woken up by my dad screaming that the ship was sinking. I started freaking out before I realized that I was sleeping on my couch at home and was not in fact on a ship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 885

You deserved it 1 812

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 930

By Soap0015 - 16/08/2012 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 203

You deserved it 2 811

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 109

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:04

Ewwww, you best take a shower after going in the kiddie pool because most likely you're covered in piss.

likewhoachea 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:01

HAHAH this is so funny!

Comments

Raven_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:15

hahaha Oh my god that is ******* hilarious. I would've paid good money to see that.

Anonymus101 4

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:17

That's pretty funny, thou it did end up being a wet dream *rimshot*.

last_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:18

Awesome story.

Travestie616 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:32

#6, obviously you didn't read the FML. "...woke up screaming uncontrollably." Eyes >> words.

wildstar 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:34

Wow. Your life is so tough, TC. Gimme a break. You're on a cruise and you think your life is f******. Please.

fuckmylife13_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:38

well at least you didn't fall into the ocean

st1ckyr1ce 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:48

#14, read #9.

popapricot 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 2:58

I wonder if the lifeguard had to do any saving.

oneangredwarf 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 3:01

thats hilarious

mehwhateverr 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 3:10

Everyone saying they can't feel sorry for anyone on a cruise, they just embarrassed themself in front of tons of people. FYL.

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that he won’t let me meet his family. He sarcastically replied, “What, you mean my wife and kids? You’re a mistress, remember? You don’t get to meet my family.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 347

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 464

The Top

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 926

You deserved it 7 130

Today, for the third time, I’ve had to clean a puddle of pee from the bathroom floor. I live alone, and I’m a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 564

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 226

You deserved it 2 847

Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 983

You deserved it 15 840

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 634

You deserved it 4 842

Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 857

You deserved it 2 615