Miscellaneous: Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the...

By NotSoAnon - 13/08/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 364

You deserved it 5 058

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Same thing different taste

By fuuu. - 19/03/2012 12:39 - Hong Kong

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 255

You deserved it 2 579

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 4 875

Voice of an angel

By awesome - 11/04/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 050

You deserved it 14 760

Steady on

By Anonymous - 20/10/2023 07:00 - Canada

Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 582

Taint

By PaintedBum - 11/03/2019 18:00

Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 401

By Anonymous - 11/10/2012 19:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 3 040

Stuck

By Chub - 27/10/2009 04:45 - United States

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 175

You deserved it 8 684

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 665

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 78

By hackling fellow - 10/03/2011 13:17

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 929

You deserved it 4 171

all4pooh 4

Saturday 13 August 2011 19:57

That's something my mom would do lol

mk58 31

Saturday 13 August 2011 20:02

If only the paint fell on your mom. That would have been epic.

Comments

xXRiah_GirlXx 9

Saturday 13 August 2011 20:53

yeah, moms do that...

Mistery510 6

Saturday 13 August 2011 20:55

that's what locks are for dumbass

slipperyeyebrow 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 20:57

babies cry but they don't whine

Camilleee_fml 7

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:02

She should learn to knock, for other purposes as well. :)

rmbennin 10

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:08

Why didn't you just lock the door?

cindiarystrue 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:08

your grammar is horrible, op

supremelyf_ed 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:08

"Hey mom, I'm about to jerk off. Don't come in here!" BAM "What? Ooooh..."

hunkypenguin2007 2

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:11

Why is my mom at your house? Tht sounds like something she would do. xD

Holy_ish 19

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:13

mom's not very bright

blinksmilewink 23

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:15

I thought FML rejected submissions with poor grammar...

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, I was at church singing and my solo came up. As I walked through the crowd, this big woman caught the holy spirit and slapped the crap out of me. It was so hard, my fake tooth came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 285

You deserved it 1 465

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 120

You deserved it 2 351

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 180

You deserved it 2 830

Today, I went early Xmas shopping for my daughter and almost spent my whole paycheck for the week on her, only to have some asshole grab my bag and run off, stealing all her gifts, all in front of a security guard and store employee, who did nothing to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 138

Today, I ran into the guy I’ve been seeing. He was holding hands with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 169

Today, after my flight arrived late, I ran 60 gates to get my connecting flight. I sprinted up to the gate agent, completely out of breath, and he looked at me, shut the door, and said, “The door is shut. You’re too late.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 392

You deserved it 325

Same thing different taste

Voice of an angel

Steady on

Taint

Stuck

Late reaction

Open door policy

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