Kids: Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept...

By thanks, dad... - 30/08/2013 17:24 - Romania - Baia Mare

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 123

You deserved it 14 481

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 466

You deserved it 36 478

New phone, who dis?

By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 121

Place in the world fades away

By What - 07/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 73

By Reena - 19/08/2011 06:38 - Canada

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 4 229

By anonymous - 03/06/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 327

You deserved it 3 398

By badgrandchild - 16/03/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 92 131

By Tom - 07/11/2008 12:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I crawled into bed at 2 in the morning. At 6 am, the telephone rang, waking me up. It was a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 899

You deserved it 13 360

By Anonymous - 09/09/2014 16:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 786

You deserved it 4 148

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 165

You deserved it 3 550

Riverdale is a lie

By that1summergirl - 19/09/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 2 959

sxm 13

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:23

Go to bed earlier next time!

massinator5 4

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:23

My dad texts me when I'm talking to people on the computer, saying go to sleep, I'm 19 haha

Comments

DocBastard 38

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:32

Damn you for ruining the punch line with your username! Don't know you know ANYTHING about comedy?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:53

I'm glad I don't look at the usernames before I read the stories!

zeon492 13

Saturday 31 August 2013 7:02

Op could of used deep throat

wobbley 9

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:32

At least he has a sense of humor :)

iSativa 24

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:34

And the Dad of the Year award goes to?.. YO DADDY. In all honesty though, your dad sounds cool as ever.

katnissmellark_fml 15

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:38

sounds like my mom....

catchmenow1 21

Saturday 31 August 2013 2:39

Ha, that's weird but kinda funny as well.

simoncat 11

Saturday 31 August 2013 3:01

Ew. That us do wrong on so many Levels. It makes my skin crawl.

Caitie_kid 8

Saturday 31 August 2013 4:33

What?? Playing a funny prank to try and scare your kid and telling them to go bed is somehow disgusting and "wrong on so many levels"??? Sounds like a parent having fun being a parent.