Miscellaneous: Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very... - FML

By dunicha - 17/11/2011 00:37 - United States

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 375

You deserved it 38 326

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Back home

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 19:21 - Germany - Neunkirchen

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 5 369

By lostforwords - 06/08/2011 19:10 - Ireland

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 6 303

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 01:46 - United States - Encino

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 735

You deserved it 2 170

What word was it?

By BigBall - 09/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 710

Graded

By df22 - 03/07/2020 20:08

Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 158

Scheiße!

By Xerfox - 03/07/2016 18:05 - Germany - Löwenstein

Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 505

You deserved it 1 986

By nullroute - 16/02/2016 11:34 - Switzerland

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 149

You deserved it 2 813

By traveling - 09/07/2013 11:18

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 980

You deserved it 6 415

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 07:30 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 338

You deserved it 4 496

By joeidk - 12/05/2013 00:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 41 620

Next

Top comments

kickazz16 15

Thursday 17 November 2011 8:39

What did you expect? A cookie?

Grimmerie 31

Thursday 17 November 2011 8:40

Did you recently suffer a sharp blow to the head?

Comments

ForeverFat 12

Tuesday 25 June 2013 0:48

23K YDI ;)

UltimateFlavor 8

Monday 3 February 2014 21:20

Bist du Sprechst Deutsch?

Miss_Chevious 37

Saturday 14 February 2015 13:00

one does not simply mistake German for English

Muskrat777 13

Thursday 16 June 2016 14:39

Thats not how learning new languages work.

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The Top

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 734

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 733

You deserved it 6 553

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 019

You deserved it 37 581

Today, I got a text from my dad asking about my car in the shop. I'm trying to show them that I can actually be independent, but now they know that not only will it cost all my savings account to fix it, but also that my boyfriend will be driving me to work for the next month while the shop waits for the parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 151

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 336

You deserved it 2 737

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 852

You deserved it 6 842

Today, I went to the hospital, which was super busy. I did a pee test when I first arrived. After 5 hours of waiting, they told me they'd lost my pee. How do you lose someone's piss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 126