Miscellaneous: Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends,...

By Dear Lord Save Me - 04/01/2015 03:56 - United Kingdom - Merthyr Tydfil

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 159

You deserved it 3 306

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 349

You deserved it 2 863

Badass

By batter--up - 17/02/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 703

By Nope - 26/06/2015 21:46 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 389

You deserved it 1 801

By traumatized - 18/06/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 227

You deserved it 3 613

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 776

You deserved it 4 994

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 03:02 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 015

You deserved it 16 511

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 4 486

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 808

You deserved it 828

By bleurghh - 31/12/2010 15:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 876

You deserved it 8 856

iSativa 24

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:45

Like the overly-attached girlfriend meme, there should be an overly protective father meme.

jpsullivan 36

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:46

well thats not overkill in the slightest

Comments

sam882 28

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:48

When I introduce my first boyfriend to my father he pulled out his pistol and threatened him. I sympathize for you.

sexymomo1234 20

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:51

If that was me I would have walked up to you, touched you, and turned around and walked away with a big smile on my face!

thecuriouskat 20

Monday 5 January 2015 4:33

Assuming the dad would've let you walk away...

sexymomo1234 20

Monday 5 January 2015 11:21

If not walk away look at him in the face and wait for him to make the move! Hopefully he is smarter then that to attack me in a public place.

xKrisSmoove 21

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:52

Dear lord save the other guy's life

thief1434 23

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:53

Wait until you get a boyfriend

GunSlinger69 19

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:54

Yikes, FHL.

underthesea12 24

Sunday 4 January 2015 20:00

Solid parenting by your dad!

TheLawIsHere 23

Sunday 4 January 2015 21:13

I fail to see how shouting death threats for waving at someone is solid parenting but each to their own.

tournamentdecide 33

Sunday 4 January 2015 23:23

Pretty sure that was sarcasm at play, 32.

yeti37 16

Sunday 4 January 2015 20:00

Dad trolling.

underlord326 9

Sunday 4 January 2015 20:01

Sounds like the first time I waved to my now girlfriend. Same shit

HighasaCloud 46

Sunday 4 January 2015 20:07

Even though the word 'silence' isn't in this FML, I can't help but read the quotation in Dunham's Achmed voice.

Jasim 17

Sunday 4 January 2015 20:08

Typical fathers. Respect.

cheeeksss 29

Monday 5 January 2015 11:39

Not typical at all, actually. Most fathers are protective. But they won't typically throw out death threats over waving hands...

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 281

The Top

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 922

You deserved it 3 029

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 697

You deserved it 7 135

Today, my uncle was driving my mom and me to his house. We caught him nodding off numerous times, and I'm pretty sure he actually fell asleep at least once. We were on the highway. The car suddenly started swerving several times whenever he was getting sleepy. I think I have some grey hairs now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 128

Today, there's a guy in my class who I'm very attracted to. I'm hyperconscious of him for that, and I worry about the impression I give. By now though, there have been at least two different eye contact occasions that made it look like I was staring at him when I was NOT, and now I must look like a creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 454

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 5 816

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 087

You deserved it 3 334

Same thing different taste

Badass

Top comments

Comments