Animals: Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying...

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By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 276

You deserved it 62 338

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Same thing different taste

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 838

You deserved it 29 333

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 145

By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 519

You deserved it 32 159

By jess - 07/03/2010 14:08 - South Africa

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 4 694

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 389

You deserved it 6 730

By failure461 - 13/06/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 573

You deserved it 41 943

Yummy

By munckncruncj15 - 22/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 36 953

Smurf mouth

By shoeaddiikt - 07/10/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 257

You deserved it 42 478

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 558

You deserved it 48 000

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 206

_rawrasaur_ 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 9:10

Would have loved to see your face at the moment you realised.

f_my_life88 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 9:09

Did it taste like chicken?

Comments

_electricbonbon 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 19:52

YDI FOR BEING A NINJA.

SpitFyre 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 19:53

Eh, a little extra protein never hurt.

oopsie_daisy8446 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 20:28

troll says om nom nom.

DestineeSaysss 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 20:34

I was totally eating when I read this.. YDI for ruining my lunch.. Just kidding! FYL

SookMauNoots 0

Friday 7 August 2009 0:22

the fly wud fly away

tenkenshi 2

Friday 7 August 2009 3:43

Your fly killing skills has reached Obama level!!

xxXChiiXxx 2

Friday 7 August 2009 4:10

Perhaps you'll die! ;D

cramazing 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:10

anyone who says absentmindedly isnt a dumbblonde hon

Hockeylover87_71 0

Friday 7 August 2009 4:54

gahh, i hate it when people call other people hon, hun, or hunny... unless you are related, god that drives me crazy!! by the way, that was absolutely awesome, OP!! :)