Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining...

By danonno - 02/08/2012 21:08 - Canada - Nelson

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 3 292

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 463

By asthmatic - 18/06/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 264

You deserved it 8 780

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 1 163

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 010

By baconandkittens - 26/02/2012 03:13 - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 565

You deserved it 5 784

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 5 381

beefstew_54 3

Friday 3 August 2012 9:09

thats just awful. just....ugh **** that shit.. *shivers*

HowAreYouToday 34

Friday 3 August 2012 9:11

Why the hell were you born?

Comments

amak1228 3

Saturday 4 August 2012 3:25

What an interesting turn of events for the Little Miss Muffet rhyme...

ObeyUnicorns 0

Saturday 4 August 2012 11:15

With All The Little Legs Crawling In Your Mouth ' Im Sorry That Happend To You x: D:

sedybear 0

Saturday 4 August 2012 11:18

Now we know your not the type to swallow.

Spiral_Thoughts 19

Saturday 4 August 2012 11:35

There's nothing to worry about, the spider was just running away from the basilisk hiding in your walls and sewage pipes. Nothing to fret over in the slightest . . .

ellie121 4

Saturday 4 August 2012 18:25

I would probably pass out if this happened to me...sooooo creepy

yarightlol 1

Saturday 4 August 2012 23:27

ROFL, you people don't seriously believe this kinda stuff right?? I mean it's screamingly obvious most of the posts on this site are made up by the same people... Don't be stupid, think!!!

OneLessScarecrow 6

Sunday 5 August 2012 3:34

Yum..

bmitchell2010 1

Sunday 5 August 2012 7:55

Omg. You poor thing, I am so so sorry. That has to be the worst thing I have read so far. I have arachnophobia, so I can imagine how horrifying that must have been.

xoxoboobear 5

Tuesday 7 August 2012 7:33

You must be a baby or animal murderer in your previous life to get this kind of shit...

wonderfool1990 2

Tuesday 7 August 2012 9:17

OMG i just remembered one time i was riding a bike on a windy day,then all of a sudden a blowfly shot itself into my nose,i sneezed it out as quick as i could,and then my nose smelled like toilet for the rest of that day...