Love: Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of... - FML

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 521

You deserved it 39 612

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Same thing different taste

Booze confused

By piliseep - 07/06/2017 16:00

Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 089

You deserved it 1 671

By 3some? uh, no - 01/02/2013 19:59 - Dominican Republic

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 249

You deserved it 33 145

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 905

You deserved it 46 472

By Austin Franklin - 18/03/2012 11:41 - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 897

You deserved it 47 412

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 978

You deserved it 43 182

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 39 027

Party animal

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 16:58

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 330

Fat chance

By Dave - 23/04/2012 13:22 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 659

You deserved it 22 034

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 094

You deserved it 9 707

By wtf mom - 31/05/2013 04:20 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 751

You deserved it 3 536

Next

Top comments

Nyolia 11

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

Would you like a side of epic with that fail?

asianpandabear 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

That's gonna be one awkward phone call.

Comments

deviable 9

Monday 15 August 2011 9:36

I'm sure she appreciated that.

squid93 9

Monday 15 August 2011 9:42

Why cant this happen to me?

ImmaB3AST 7

Monday 15 August 2011 9:55

This would have been more of an FML if you gave him your dads number. O-o

Chuck94_fml 0

Monday 15 August 2011 10:03

wqita go

Majstr 23

Monday 15 August 2011 10:22

Guess who's got a hot date tomorow.

otb113 7

Monday 15 August 2011 10:28

mammas gettin ******

Kurtykat 2

Monday 15 August 2011 10:32

MILF!

SherryA 15

Monday 15 August 2011 10:41

I've done something like this before. Except I gave a guy my old phone number, I never seen him again :'( My mom would have been okay with it and would've given me his number upon getting the possible text.. I hope the OP's mother is as cool as mine... For her sake :P

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 15 August 2011 10:43

That's OK, your mom needs some too. Maybe she'll give some cute guy your phone number, you never know.

rattusrattus 18

Monday 15 August 2011 10:55

Business cards. Get some business cards printed up. Then you'll never give the wrong number to a guy when drunk. Unless you get some decoys printed up for creepers.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 561

You deserved it 2 099

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 395

You deserved it 2 441

Today, the older I get, the more I realise my mom has screwed up my ability to have sex. She used to beat me if she thought I was having impure thoughts, and though she died years ago, when I try to have sex with my girlfriend I hear mom's voice in my head and I go limp. I can’t even masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 154

Today, I flew from Texas to meet my new girlfriend's family in Georgia. Turns out her sister was a random hookup I had a year earlier on a business trip, she remembered me as the douchebag with premature ejaculation. Guess who’s flying home single? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 1 994

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 651

You deserved it 2 752

Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 735