Love: Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of... - FML

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 521

You deserved it 39 611

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Same thing different taste

Booze confused

By piliseep - 07/06/2017 16:00

Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 089

You deserved it 1 671

By 3some? uh, no - 01/02/2013 19:59 - Dominican Republic

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 249

You deserved it 33 145

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 905

You deserved it 46 470

By Austin Franklin - 18/03/2012 11:41 - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 896

You deserved it 47 410

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 978

You deserved it 43 182

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 39 025

Party animal

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 16:58

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 329

Fat chance

By Dave - 23/04/2012 13:22 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 659

You deserved it 22 034

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 092

You deserved it 9 707

By wtf mom - 31/05/2013 04:20 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 750

You deserved it 3 536

Next

Top comments

Nyolia 11

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

Would you like a side of epic with that fail?

asianpandabear 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

That's gonna be one awkward phone call.

Comments

SpicyGrass 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:50

What a selfish person. Regretting giving your mother pleasure. Glad my kids actually give me the full experience without me even asking.

Wozuh 5

Monday 15 August 2011 8:50

If your mom is a milf, I'm sure he won't mind.

emmarie002 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:50

hopefully your mom is hot and looking lol

UnderTheMoon 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:51

What happenned to the cry baby flicking her bean to her boyfriend FML?

xShannonxSammyx 7

Monday 15 August 2011 8:53

How should we know?

zachherbert 10

Monday 15 August 2011 8:55

Ohhh NOOOO

ryanst 7

Monday 15 August 2011 9:05

I've seen you post this on like 5 different FMLs..

tr0llz0r 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:45

That's because it's what you'd call a "novelty account." In this case, it's what's-his-face from Family Guy (profile pic).

SherryA 15

Monday 15 August 2011 10:36

Lmao.. Every time you say it I always laugh imagining him saying "Ohhh NOOOOO" :) It's great.

bubblesdafrog 0

Monday 15 August 2011 15:51

It's T?bï with an "i". With an accent over the "i". And a little line over the "o" so you know it's a long vowel and not a short one. And sometimes I like to dot the "i" with a smiley face or something. Something to brighten the reader's day. :)

Wozuh 5

Monday 15 August 2011 19:22

102- If I could put a 100x thumbs up I most definitely would.

mistakenGrace 9

Monday 15 August 2011 8:55

Hahaha, she's gonna thank you for that later, I believe.

1958x 6

Monday 15 August 2011 8:55

How can you be so drunk you don't remember or realize your own number?

funkyspacemonkey 0

Monday 22 August 2011 14:35

She's a dingy dip wad

hannahlovesyouu 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:56

I wasn't that drunk dude, you have this hot guy who was hitting on you all night you moms number! eh haha not the best(:

crymore007 11

Monday 15 August 2011 8:58

"Today I was so drunk..." you deserve it.

neongurl98 10

Monday 15 August 2011 8:59

Niccceeee!

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Keywords

Insects Gross Miscellaneous Cute Neighbours Kids Proposal Awkward Love Amazon Relatable Hair Delivery Health Scary Allergies Dogs Animals Babysitter Skincare Emergency Doctor Hospital Engagement ring Vacation AITA Facebook Social Media Scams Sex

The Top

Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 007

You deserved it 14 245

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He says he can’t be with someone who doesn’t love his dog as much as he does. I told him that I have absolutely no problem with the dog being in the room, but it makes me uncomfortable when the dog is on the bed while we have sex. Apparently, that’s unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 152

The Top

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 881

You deserved it 4 961

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 461

You deserved it 44 407

Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 488

Today, at work, I have discovered the wonderful feeling of having a paper cut, with metal, under your nail, on all your nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 982

You deserved it 370

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 129

You deserved it 6 809

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 316