Love: Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of... - FML

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 521

You deserved it 39 612

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Booze confused

By piliseep - 07/06/2017 16:00

Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 089

You deserved it 1 671

By 3some? uh, no - 01/02/2013 19:59 - Dominican Republic

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 249

You deserved it 33 145

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 905

You deserved it 46 472

By Austin Franklin - 18/03/2012 11:41 - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 897

You deserved it 47 412

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 978

You deserved it 43 182

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 39 027

Party animal

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 16:58

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 330

Fat chance

By Dave - 23/04/2012 13:22 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 659

You deserved it 22 034

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 094

You deserved it 9 707

By wtf mom - 31/05/2013 04:20 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 751

You deserved it 3 536

Next

Top comments

Nyolia 11

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

Would you like a side of epic with that fail?

asianpandabear 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

That's gonna be one awkward phone call.

Comments

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 15 August 2011 9:00

Sounds like your mom is going to have fun tonight :)

cBlackout 13

Monday 15 August 2011 9:01

Thats gonna be awkward.

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Monday 15 August 2011 9:01

After he makes that phone call he'll probably never drink again.

MrXerxes5 6

Monday 15 August 2011 9:02

looks like OP's mom is gonna have some fun later.

koe4 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:29

dude i swear to god your my dopplegangbanger or whatever the hell its called.

Sniper3000 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:12

Makes me wonder how u knew u did that

Sdlidner 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:15

At least it wasn't your dad's number.

Climaxx 11

Monday 15 August 2011 9:16

If you were "so drunk" how do you know he is really cute? Alcohol plays tricks on you (:

a_nutritionist 10

Monday 15 August 2011 9:25

it was probably her dad asking for her mums number to get a lift home.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Monday 15 August 2011 9:21

So you went to a bar, no, scratch that. You went over a bit tipsy and **** your life for doing some stupid shit, eh? Nah, idiot. YMFDI.

a_nutritionist 10

Monday 15 August 2011 9:23

ill break it down for you: for men: the opportunity of hooking up - which when youre single is something you think about all the damn time for women: the chance to go out and be treated to free shit, attention and act like a total idiot without repercussions. this is why women leave the club laughing, and guys leave the club angry.

Tyger44 1

Monday 15 August 2011 9:29

Threesome?!? Too soon?!?;$

perdix 29

Monday 15 August 2011 14:18

No, it's always a good time for a threesome! I don't know why that solution isn't mentioned more often. It's so obvious . . . and, awesome ;)

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 2 095

The Top

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 972

You deserved it 3 953

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 990

You deserved it 112 558

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 122

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 531

You deserved it 44 218

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my parked car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop, all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 298

You deserved it 68 978

Today, my dad got upset when one of his employees showed a romantic interest in my mom. Both parents were totally fine, though, with that same employee announcing his engagement to my 15-year-old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 123