Health: Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing...

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 667

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 61 823

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 088

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 403

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 599

You deserved it 4 048

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 521

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 420

You deserved it 3 605

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 010

jonjonguapito 15

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:13

I guess you pissed him off

chaseafterwind82 29

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:23

Should have pissed on the fly instead.

Comments

chaseafterwind82 29

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:23

Should have pissed on the fly instead.

pinkster2014 25

Thursday 23 July 2015 18:02

Maybe he did, and the fly was on the guy...

K_kanaka 26

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:23

Piss first, swat fly after.

SubparAtBest 23

Thursday 23 July 2015 13:13

how long does it take this guy to piss? Like he couldn't wait a few seconds?

taylorbrown97 23

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:24

Guess he doesn't meet the stereotype of nice Canadians.

ItsDutch 16

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:28

Can you honestly blame the other guy? You totally deserved it.

Joshawott 21

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:31

To be fair, I would have busted your face in if you had pissed on me.

dragkyre 4

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:41

Cool charge him with assault

MandieL 27

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:51

OP could probably be charged with assault since he made the first move. Pissing on someone could be construed as an act of aggression, trying to claim territory.

milehigh52 22

Thursday 23 July 2015 5:11

OP could also be charged with sexual harassment as that can be seen as a sexual crime.

TheDog6 24

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:45

You swat the fly. The guy swats you. Circle of life.

Lalala579121 27

Thursday 23 July 2015 1:59

But who does the fly swat?

imhope 23

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:58

I read that wrong at first! Hahaha thought it said "he busted on my face"?

tbro47 23

Thursday 23 July 2015 0:58

Yea, you deserve it. The fly was doing you no harm. If it were a wasp or a bee it would at least be understandable or even a spider crawling up you leg, but you lose control of your stream over a fly? I think any guy would have punched you for peeing on them.