Love: Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking...

By Anonymous - 31/05/2013 04:16 - United States - Pleasant Grove

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 594

You deserved it 15 009

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Thanks honey

By downer - 25/05/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 309

You deserved it 58 721

By Kiki - 08/03/2013 21:22 - Poland - Myslenice

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 5 582

Harsh

By anonymous - 14/12/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 499

You deserved it 12 228

By screwwyou - 28/09/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 137

You deserved it 5 136

Forwarded

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 275

You deserved it 7 759

By Ace - 01/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 852

You deserved it 1 805

Brave move

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 14:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending a GIF. Not a sad one either. It was a GIF of some dude disappearing into thin air. Ten out of ten for originality, but come on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 73

By DeadBroke - 07/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 552

You deserved it 5 736

By rplovez - 05/09/2011 23:14 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 4 024

By Autocorrected - 04/03/2012 05:02 - Philippines

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 676

You deserved it 31 441

Harpy20 24

Friday 31 May 2013 14:09

He's the one with no humor. GOOD RIDDANCE.

PETRONAS_fml 10

Friday 31 May 2013 14:10

You know what... You actually rock.

Comments

Izabel12 7

Wednesday 23 April 2014 5:30

He's an idiot. Plain and simple.

nooblper 21

Tuesday 27 May 2014 6:46

This sounds like a NigaHiga joke... Good job!

Shurikenstar_ 0

Sunday 6 July 2014 4:52

Psh be glad his basic ass left, now to find someone who can enjoy you and your creative humor!

joeofwinterfell 8

Monday 7 July 2014 18:19

I think you funny. Sounds like something I would do

DecisiveBull 9

Friday 13 March 2015 8:15

Jeez, what's his problem? All I did is read about your sense of humor and now I have a little internet crush :3.

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 12 May 2015 15:12

That's hilarious, he has no sense of humor.

chryslexitaylor 11

Tuesday 16 June 2015 12:34

That joke was awesome i would have dumped him for not having a sense of humour.

cupcakegirl0424 27

Thursday 30 July 2015 15:56

Girl you did the right thing=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ here is a hug.

MrZed_fml 11

Sunday 19 June 2016 21:04

I found that funny XD He's lucky to have someone like you

JairBear241 6

Monday 4 July 2016 10:37

Wtf? If you were my girlfriend I would find that pretty cute and funny. Guess you were dating an ass.

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Social Media Instagram Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 050

You deserved it 21 146

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 251

You deserved it 207

The Top

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 997

You deserved it 10 483

Today, at work, I had received a lot of phone calls. I thought maybe it was a scammer line because I never receive calls. Turns out my phone number is the same as a character's number in a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 671

You deserved it 175

Today, after my 10 year-old son asked what equal rights were and I'd explained it means you treat everyone the same, this morning he punched a girl who's been bullying him so hard, he broke her tooth, because, "Equal rights: if she was a boy I'd have hit her before, but equal rights says it doesn't matter if she's a girl, so I hit her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 681

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 824

You deserved it 3 631

Today, I found out that the built in lighter in my car does NOT in fact glow red when hot. I now have circles burned into my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 440

You deserved it 29 216

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 208

You deserved it 64 773