Intimacy: Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I...

By DanteWest1000 - 03/04/2012 04:43 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 001

You deserved it 7 654

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Same thing different taste

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

By Anonymous - 10/09/2014 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 617

You deserved it 14 091

Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 969

You deserved it 12 665

By is_that_right - 27/12/2014 19:14 - United States - El Paso

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 982

You deserved it 2 948

By NewTenant - 20/06/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 205

You deserved it 39 991

Easy

By FootinMouth - 18/07/2013 21:48 - United States - Louisville

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 482

You deserved it 54 675

By just_a_bit_akwRd - 04/08/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 686

You deserved it 7 813

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 068

You deserved it 2 096

By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 424

You deserved it 4 790

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 85 115

emba_fml 13

Tuesday 3 April 2012 11:42

well at least she's honest

ycrem0n 21

Tuesday 3 April 2012 12:07

Poke her with your needle

Comments

tj4234 35

Tuesday 3 April 2012 14:21

why were you texting her about cross dressing? :S

Michaelsgirl04 9

Tuesday 3 April 2012 17:38

I was wondering when someone would ask this...seems like a weird thing to discuss with your girlfriend haha

petlover7598 7

Tuesday 3 April 2012 20:10

And it is especially odd that the conversation is by text. My phone,as with many other people that I know, is not always in my hand. Often times it gets laid on a desk or table and anyone walking by can see it.

ifoundalaska 11

Tuesday 3 April 2012 14:22

It's a joke.

mileena 7

Tuesday 3 April 2012 14:39

No one else is concerned about the fact they were discussing cross dressing?

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 April 2012 16:34

I don't think they are. It's a fairly harmless diversion. It's not for me, but I can see how it could be fun, except for a woman wearing a tie. Ties suck!

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 April 2012 14:48

Maybe she prefers the painless injections you give her over the massive pussy reaming she'd get from a big dick. Or maybe she's taking the gifts and free dinners from you until she finds a guy with a dick she likes. Doesn't matter, had sex, right?