Animals: Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling...

By sleepy - 23/12/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 199

You deserved it 5 937

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 05/11/2010 22:02 - France

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 035

You deserved it 3 631

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

By fml_forever32 - 23/12/2009 18:56 - United States

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 129

You deserved it 2 502

Gassy

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:53 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 960

You deserved it 9 103

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 619

You deserved it 2 847

Safe bet

By Pee.H.D - 02/05/2016 17:24 - United States - Fontana

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 857

You deserved it 7 264

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 140

Nothing better to do

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 06:57 - United States

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 162

You deserved it 40 315

Mud bogging

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 156

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:55

If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:03

I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.

Comments

revolutionnnn 2

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:09

Thats unlucky about the dog. But what is so hard about reading a book?

DwayneHoover 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 20:29

Narcolepsy fail.

tom9686 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:22

just ask a class mate what the book is about, if you cbf reading it.

Lia_Mackenzie 4

Thursday 24 December 2009 19:01

cbf? What?

Icyyy 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 4:37

Can't Be Found? Ahh, I have no idea.

itouchguy360 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:49

maybe the op had a terrible night sleep?

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:55

If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.

McCannCanTriple 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:00

The book could be boring. School selections tend to be.

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:03

I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.

Poke_my_mon 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 14:05

Read "A Prayer for Owen Meany".... If you can get through chapter one without sleeping... I'll find you and give you fifty bucks. Feel free to drink Red Bull, Monster or whatever. They can't save you.

waterynuggets 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 14:32

lmao

Trevv 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 23:03

Yeah I've fallen asleep reading school books before. Then again, I just got back from a Friday night track practice...

Icyyy 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 4:38

D;< What happened to coffee, people?

Danny0522 8

Tuesday 25 October 2011 1:07

9 I fell asleep while reading a summary of that book

mushoo_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 15:33

Sucky advice, dog or no dog.

lollipop217 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:31

there's this magical thing called caffeine, it works for most people...

Tigg3r 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 17:08

agreed #13. Oh yes OP? Tell your dog I said he is a very good boy/girl and that he/she shouldn't be punished for his/her owner's stupidity. I don't know if the dog is a boy or girl so yeah... I seriously hope it's a boy though.

blastvortex 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 17:23

Perhaps reading with a hot iron sitting on your lap would've been smarter. I also wonder that, if he'd told you that wolverines made good house pets, you might believe him. xD Now that's what I call a reality check - rude awakening, go!