Animals: Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling...

By sleepy - 23/12/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 204

You deserved it 5 939

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 05/11/2010 22:02 - France

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 036

You deserved it 3 633

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 3 376

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 137

You deserved it 632

By fml_forever32 - 23/12/2009 18:56 - United States

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 133

You deserved it 2 503

Gassy

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:53 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 961

You deserved it 9 105

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 622

You deserved it 2 847

Safe bet

By Pee.H.D - 02/05/2016 17:24 - United States - Fontana

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 863

You deserved it 7 267

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 141

Nothing better to do

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 06:57 - United States

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 162

You deserved it 40 320

Mud bogging

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 159

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:55

If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:03

I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.

Comments

Nsc007 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 18:40

I can sympathize with the OP. Even if I love reading a book, I tend to pass out after reading about 2-3 chapters. It's the only reason I haven't finished Gulliver's Travels.

uxoriouswidow 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 1:24

Is this part of a condition or something, because it can't be good...

brandnewkey 14

Wednesday 23 December 2009 19:28

Not too bad at all! Now you got a nap in, can go shower off, and be refreshed for a new round of reading! Be happy your dog was an alarm clock :)

mr_nine2five 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 19:46

Teach your dog who's the boss of the house. Take him out side (if you have a fenced in backyard), tie him down, and piss on his head. After leaving soaking in your piss for a while then you can hose him down and let him back in. If you don't have a back yard, the shower is probably your only other option.

blee_v 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 20:14

haha ouch. Im sorry! i have had some things like that happen to me to.

xenomorph 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 20:56

Take a 37-degree bath and hang the book from a string. (Use a clip-on water heater so that the water stays at 37 degrees.) If you fall asleep, you fall into the water, which automatically wakes you up. But don't do it alone--there is probably a serious risk of drowning if you do it alone.

Fratkidz 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 0:06

Your dog worships you that is why that happened! He should go for a walk and get all types of treats because he is such a good doggy.

chicagoowns 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 0:21

yea... thts prolly not true

foxyshadis 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 0:52

Take a nap or get a full night's rest, and get a little light exercise to wake yourself up while you read. Dragging yourself to exhaustion and then trying to study at the end of the night is a great way to go nuts and fail everything.