By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 19:26 - United Kingdom - Gorebridge

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 559
You deserved it 2 440
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Top comments

Docbee 11

You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

372 4
Redoxx_fml 22

Why is the rum always gone?

196 6

Comments

Docbee 11

You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

372 4
hama806 19

He had me at "Jimmy Hoffa colon." Too funny. But I hope you weren't too scarred by this experience OP.

17 1
pillowsarecomfy 2

What are the odds you misunderstood this homeless guy......

6 2
winnerme123 8

He wanted the money to pay for the other type of booty.

11 0
AKGirlinSD 20

Maybe the wanna be pirate, robber, wanted both booties but only got one. Jail/prison will give him plenty of the other kind of booty and his will be up for grabs as well ;-).

4 1
alshygirl 14

This is off topic but 1- your profile pic gave be nightmares

2 4
Redoxx_fml 22

Why is the rum always gone?

196 6
Hiimhaileypotter 52

I find Jack Sparrow oddly attractive. Is it just me? It probably is just me :P

55 1
jetsown08 21

Well after that mugger has £100 more, there'll be more rum coming!

16 1
Judahsh 8

Johnny Depp 31. Your not the only one

21 6
GaleIsHawt 5

31 - you definitely are not the only one! I love me some johnny depp

24 1
mduffy08 8

I really hate that monkey...

8 2
whosindahouse 9

Johnny Depp lost his virginity at age 13.

6 3
99megster 15

86- really?! How do you even know that

2 1
corinnipoo 2

There should be a "Captain" in there somewhere. ;) And Johnny is MINE. :P

1 7
boarder540 12

Sounds like a smart homeless man to me...

13 19
mduffy08 8

If he was smart, he probably wouldn't be homeless.

34 3
TriflingAllDay 6

I would'nt say never.

2 2
jjessen 20

OP shoulda beat the shit outta that dude. Shoulda gone kungfuiy on his ass

6 1
Zatheria 1

You've smelled Jimmy Hoffa's colon?

120 4
Redoxx_fml 22

Sea turtles, mate

47 1
im_too_pro 2

I was slightly concerned myself, but a little impressed

6 3
NOOBSQUAD 0

I am very curious about what his colon smells like, if it smells like mine I'll be pissed.

13 1
eBall07 2

Do y'all not know how to spell "cologne"? Lol

1 6
MissEmma_fml 22

Wow! I wonder if his colon smells the same as his comma...

1 0
Stix89 2

For some reason when I was reading the FML I glazed over the fact that it read colon instead of cologne. That is until I got to this comment. What does Jimmy Hoffa's COLOGNE smell like?

1 1
Xythenol 6

"My booty is mine, it belongs to me. You cannot have my booty!"

23 0
jaxv95 7

" I came fo booty, a mans butt Now i likes ya, n i wants ya So we can do this the easy or we can do this the hard way? ...the choice is yours"

3 0
rsunshine2020 13

Consider yourself lucky!!! Jack sparrow.. It's a story to tell, savvy?

47 2
rsunshine2020 13

Oh my gosh! How could I forget. Thank you :)

17 4
XmoulcraftX 6

Maybe jack should do a new movie sounds like he's in a boat load of trouble...

24 1
ryguy83 2

Sounds like you had a good day

6 1