Health: Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know,... - FML

By Harry - 10/06/2014 01:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 508

You deserved it 3 898

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 227

You deserved it 2 475

Cold dish time

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 04:00

Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 3 175

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 717

You deserved it 3 192

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 171

Cassius

By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 456

You deserved it 9 475

By wtf - 17/12/2012 19:38 - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 833

You deserved it 3 878

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 9 836

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 133

Next

Top comments

vipirius 18

Tuesday 10 June 2014 12:31

People blaming their actions on being drunk and refusing to take responsibility pisses me off so much. I hope you didn't just let it go OP.

Arjunt 5

Tuesday 10 June 2014 12:26

Sorry OP :(. Hope you feel better

Comments

mimiwallace24 1

Sunday 15 June 2014 20:03

Oh hell no....nd I bet that mother ****** got away with it huh? ***** u up then gets away with it....how lovely

56codybanks 7

Monday 16 June 2014 8:14

sorry op but sounds like classic gta

Noodle422 10

Wednesday 17 December 2014 3:44

I forgot what OP means, lol

lolz_box 12

Tuesday 17 February 2015 18:07

That's not okay just to let him off because he was"drunk"

stinkfire0971 20

Monday 20 February 2017 1:05

I h8 my st8.

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 472

The Top

Today, I learned a valuable lesson, never leave your "Let It Be" album, which you paid $489 for on eBay out on your desk. My brother also learned something, old records make for very breakable, one use frisbees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 074

You deserved it 11 926

Today, I made a mistake at work that got seven people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 520

You deserved it 70 052

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 842

You deserved it 4 136

Today, I pretended to go for a run to impress someone on AIM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 197

You deserved it 39 013

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 339

You deserved it 18 163

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 863

You deserved it 27 736