Health: Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know,...

By Harry - 10/06/2014 01:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 508

You deserved it 3 898

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 227

You deserved it 2 475

Cold dish time

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 04:00

Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 3 175

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 717

You deserved it 3 192

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 171

Cassius

By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 456

You deserved it 9 475

By wtf - 17/12/2012 19:38 - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 833

You deserved it 3 878

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 9 836

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 133

vipirius 18

Tuesday 10 June 2014 12:31

People blaming their actions on being drunk and refusing to take responsibility pisses me off so much. I hope you didn't just let it go OP.

Arjunt 5

Tuesday 10 June 2014 12:26

Sorry OP :(. Hope you feel better

Comments

raphanne_fml 33

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:12

I don't understand what happens inside the head of some people. How could "Hey! I'm feeling bored today. How about I go around smashing some skulls to pass the time?" make sense to anyone with more than two functioning brain cells? How could this sound like a remotely good idea to anyone?

Omniprism 14

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:20

Holy **** you could have died. Sue the sob.

ZoroMiHawk 25

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:23

You're lucky you're not dead. Don't let him get away with it, sue him.

perhapskelly 6

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:41

That's some GTA shit.

benkubie 2

Tuesday 10 June 2014 18:00

That's so stupid!

BobbieH 19

Tuesday 10 June 2014 18:32

If you were walking "in" the street I'd probably hit you too. No alcohol involved. You may have the right of way as a pedestrian but you cannot obstruct traffic. Honestly though that's ridiculous, it should not be something that happens now.

magiczebra 9

Tuesday 10 June 2014 20:44

Reading comprehension goes a long way. OP wasn't in the street obstructing traffic. They weren't hit by a car. They were whacked in the head with a baseball bat by some drunk asshat. OP is no way at fault.