Health: Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know,...

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By Harry - 10/06/2014 01:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 514

You deserved it 3 899

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 572

You deserved it 11 423

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 240

You deserved it 2 477

Cold dish time

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 04:00

Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 3 191

The ball game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of a sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 132

You deserved it 3 269

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 829

You deserved it 4 722

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 172

Fiat 500 woes

By Too tall for this shit - 30/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 125

Cassius

By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 460

You deserved it 9 478

By wtf - 17/12/2012 19:38 - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 840

You deserved it 3 881

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 360

You deserved it 9 840

vipirius 18

Tuesday 10 June 2014 12:31

People blaming their actions on being drunk and refusing to take responsibility pisses me off so much. I hope you didn't just let it go OP.

Arjunt 5

Tuesday 10 June 2014 12:26

Sorry OP :(. Hope you feel better

Comments

raphanne_fml 33

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:12

I don't understand what happens inside the head of some people. How could "Hey! I'm feeling bored today. How about I go around smashing some skulls to pass the time?" make sense to anyone with more than two functioning brain cells? How could this sound like a remotely good idea to anyone?

Omniprism 14

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:20

Holy **** you could have died. Sue the sob.

ZoroMiHawk 25

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:23

You're lucky you're not dead. Don't let him get away with it, sue him.

perhapskelly 6

Tuesday 10 June 2014 17:41

That's some GTA shit.

benkubie 2

Tuesday 10 June 2014 18:00

That's so stupid!

BobbieH 19

Tuesday 10 June 2014 18:32

If you were walking "in" the street I'd probably hit you too. No alcohol involved. You may have the right of way as a pedestrian but you cannot obstruct traffic. Honestly though that's ridiculous, it should not be something that happens now.

magiczebra 9

Tuesday 10 June 2014 20:44

Reading comprehension goes a long way. OP wasn't in the street obstructing traffic. They weren't hit by a car. They were whacked in the head with a baseball bat by some drunk asshat. OP is no way at fault.