Intimacy: Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped...

By Noname - 17/03/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 211 400

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Same thing different taste

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 250

You deserved it 36 391

Christmas shopping

By Anonymous - 26/12/2019 20:00

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 225

By notmydad. - 08/05/2010 10:07 - Philippines

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 250

You deserved it 3 674

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 973

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 491

You deserved it 7 264

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 353

You deserved it 11 005

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 875

You deserved it 91 356

Classic move

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 20:00 - Canada - Saint-jérôme

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 206

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 701

You deserved it 751

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 855

You deserved it 4 480

dammn 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:02

HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?

amirn86 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:03

How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1

Comments

emsbitch 0

Friday 29 April 2011 22:10

ahahahahahahahaha thats a great mental image

AnynomousPerson 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 9:04

Dumbass

katieeamberr 2

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:01

unless that person is edward cullen, no excuse lmao

SonjaJay 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:48

You idiot

lovelinkinpark 1

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:26

It's ALIVE!!!!!!!

xXMaNiAc69Xx 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 20:57

Shes A Fake! o.O

gymnstemily92 0

Monday 8 August 2011 16:26

Hahaha (:

guerito903 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 21:28

lmfao that is lucky for you :P

whitey317 0

Monday 5 September 2011 5:08

At least you got some tail

grigsbyk 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 11:32

Whhhaaaatttt???? Lmaoooo

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Racism Love Money Harassment My ex Accident Embarrassing Work AITA Am I overreacting? Religion Health Relatable Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Dogs Animals Relationship advice Cats Cute Cars Friends Transportation Scams

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 092

You deserved it 9 348

Today, I introduced this website to my boyfriend. We laughed at a guy who screamed his sister's name during sex. Guess what he thought would be funny to do when I was seconds from coming? FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 1 165

The Top

Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 320

You deserved it 5 587

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 412

You deserved it 2 016

Today, after my landlord commented on how rarely I drink milk, and I joked that I'm "probably going to die young" because of it, I immediately remembered that her 35-year-old husband died last year of a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 390

You deserved it 4 898

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 272

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 698

You deserved it 4 313

Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 581

You deserved it 14 600

Same thing different taste

Christmas shopping

Classic move

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