Health: Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me...

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By unknown - 12/06/2013 17:33 - United States - Tulare

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 011

You deserved it 4 486

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 195

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 443

You deserved it 52 232

Grab it while you can

By Arabian_Soap - 31/05/2021 16:01 - Australia - Mermaid Beach

Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 209

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 2 581

Lovesick

By oops - 18/05/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 342

You deserved it 18 173

Cool your jets, lady

By all puked out - 13/07/2014 21:14 - Netherlands

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 802

You deserved it 4 342

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 357

You deserved it 2 073

By anon - 16/02/2014 12:56 - Australia - Kingston

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 507

You deserved it 20 197

Check these out

By doubleds - 03/06/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 547

You deserved it 5 685

By dude - 24/03/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 147

You deserved it 34 277

CammyGal 26

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:07

And this problem couldn't be fixed with a simple explanation?

cmayer 20

Thursday 13 June 2013 0:08

I don't know how people can be so presumptuous.

Comments

pame7a 1

Friday 14 June 2013 1:41

Forget her! Free money for you, and good karma is coming too!

caligirllife 11

Friday 14 June 2013 18:37

It sucks that people assume the worst. Shows that she deserved to drop that money. Next time take the luck and keep it.

55anonymous 3

Friday 14 June 2013 22:12

Is she a prostitute? Why would anyone assume that first? I'd be offended to interpret it that way.

thehowiie 6

Saturday 15 June 2013 1:41

she must be a hooker then and was offended because she was off duty when you asked

Namenlos_fml 20

Saturday 15 June 2013 4:38

Who would think that??

ChuckNorris2 4

Monday 17 June 2013 10:00

I'd just reply with "eww god no, count your money, you'll see I'm telling the truth"

Vaati_fml 20

Tuesday 25 June 2013 1:19

The fact that some people think sexually of acts like this just destroys my hope for humanity.

Dashelle 25

Sunday 27 October 2013 3:29

I bet she fell dumb when she learned the truth. Or did you pocket it? :)

ashleyylove3 22

Saturday 2 November 2013 19:07

Well in that case I hope you kept it

Dalleee 29

Wednesday 23 April 2014 0:37

she thinks highly of her self

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The Top

Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 463

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 665

You deserved it 53 789

The Top

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 975

You deserved it 2 885

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and stayed up the rest of the night. I had to go to work from 3 to 11 and I ended up getting my coworker to leave early. As I was getting ready to leave, I found out that I wasn't scheduled today and that I now have to work this Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 414

Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 267

You deserved it 26 810

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 345

You deserved it 7 615

Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 715

You deserved it 3 642

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 392

You deserved it 51 000