Animals: Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter,...

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 996

You deserved it 77 617

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 800

You deserved it 4 363

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 860

You deserved it 1 525

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 4 010

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 681

You deserved it 9 394

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 288

You deserved it 6 510

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 327

You deserved it 4 382

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 314

You deserved it 5 072

By Noname - 02/02/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 819

You deserved it 7 060

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 253

You deserved it 19 307

too_much_fun 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 4:23

Boyfriend: "Today, I was watching a movie with my girlfriend and she let out a horrible fart. She blamed my dog, Baxter. Baxter was outside at the moment. FML" Baxter: "Today, my owner's girlfriend let out a fart that was worse than mine. FML"

bman01 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 4:22

Women farting? This is absurd!

Comments

plzfml4real 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 7:23

#7 that one was good xD i love OP's sn

mjsmclaren 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 7:44

Don't feel bad , my girlfirend has farted in front of me several times. I just let one rip sometime after to show her who the man is

katherinebby17 28

Tuesday 28 April 2009 8:05

lol funny

yojoeletsmakeout 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 8:07

65 is win.

whensdinner 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 8:35

too funny. i farted so bad one time in 7th grade that the teacher opened the window. i just looked around and said, damn, it smells like shit! hahaha

strat_fml 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 8:43

HAHA you must smell really bad. STINKY PANTS. all your friends should call you stinky pants. no wait - you probably dont have any friends because youre so STINKY! HAHA thats funny to me!!!

lolwut_fail 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 9:04

Watch the leg... BOOM. He just farted in my open house. Sure did...it smells like Fart.

truslide 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 9:12

dog named baxter = fail anyways

MtVernonVA 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 9:30

Baxter ate a wheel of cheese! I'm not even mad.... that's amazing. I blame my farts on my guinea pigs. Never works.

cartering 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 10:27

55, you are thinking of noisy noticeable ones. if you eat the typical american diet you fart an average of 14 times a day. As in you expel gas from your rectum 14 times a day - if you eat following the US food pyramid and don't,you'll be dead pretty quickly. That is scientific fact. Noisy farts and long farts are far less common http://www.heptune.com/farts.html