Intimacy: Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting...

By erjazo - 31/12/2013 21:19 - United States - Morris

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 287

You deserved it 6 858

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Same thing different taste

Fascinated

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 422

You deserved it 15 281

By fuckingads - 13/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 694

You deserved it 2 159

By Tee - 11/12/2009 09:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 847

You deserved it 4 617

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 056

You deserved it 5 594

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 160

You deserved it 6 914

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 4 734

By waitforit - 23/04/2009 11:42 - United States

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 374

You deserved it 93 770

By Judy69 - 07/04/2012 07:04 - United States - Dekalb

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 622

You deserved it 6 034

By vanessa_d15 - 10/11/2009 09:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 509

You deserved it 23 710

Denied

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:28 - Canada

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 4 499

plaguer 26

Wednesday 1 January 2014 5:04

Better than him refusing to have sex at all, I guess.

H4IL2TH3V 8

Wednesday 1 January 2014 5:05

take it as a compliment...

Comments

mizzoukid 6

Thursday 2 January 2014 5:05

Priorities.

iislix1ii 19

Thursday 2 January 2014 5:09

Damn infomercials.

mjayybb 8

Thursday 2 January 2014 6:04

yikes. fyl.

hhelms2009 8

Thursday 2 January 2014 6:26

Either you're really good or he has a pre-ejaculation problem..

marramrammar 2

Thursday 2 January 2014 20:12

Question is did you get yours if not then an issue. Must live in the New England Area cause he is definitely a Minute Man!

DavidKnows 11

Friday 3 January 2014 7:39

That's selfish.

vuduguru 5

Friday 3 January 2014 19:51

one pumper dumper

rdizzle5 4

Friday 3 January 2014 20:03

It had to be adult swim commercials

nexusvengence 2

Friday 3 January 2014 20:06

Actually most sex only lasts about a couple minutes

onesarcasticdik 8

Saturday 4 January 2014 0:13

2 pump chump! Lol

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The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 986

You deserved it 2 502

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 950

You deserved it 19 254

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 654

You deserved it 5 119

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 333

You deserved it 33 563

Today, my dad is mad at me because I refused to buy a truck. An ugly old Isuzu with two flat tires and a missing headlight, and the owner said it needed a new transmission & brakes, but still wanted $8000. Apparently, without consulting me, Dad promised him I'd buy it as payment for guns he bought. Now he's in debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 76

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 160

You deserved it 5 733

Same thing different taste

Fascinated

Denied

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