Miscellaneous: Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes...

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 167

You deserved it 3 327

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Same thing different taste

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 2 629

By Anonymous - 10/01/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 073

You deserved it 525

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 951

You deserved it 8 250

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 119

You deserved it 6 351

By moo... - 18/05/2013 02:59

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 498

You deserved it 13 206

Meat is murder

By meatballz - 16/03/2010 04:28 - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 453

You deserved it 43 775

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 142

Creeped out of here

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 006

You deserved it 1 971

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 081

By Anonyme - 06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 318

You deserved it 158

FerrariCake 2

Saturday 26 September 2009 19:44

You must be pretty hot if you can spontaneously turn a guy into an animal.

FerrariCake 2

Saturday 26 September 2009 19:53

Of course it is possible he just always makes animal noises and it has nothing to do with you. It's also possible he was really talking to his food when he said it was "scrumptious". You might be giving yourself way too much credit here.

Comments

SasounChan 3

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:21

Haha!! I didn't think people really did that!

arielhoee 9

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:28

Haha that's real attractive, the animal noises didn't turn you on? -crosses that off my list-

kaittt17 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:30

I luv ferraricake's comment :))))

aaaaa2p 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:30

WOW. This is why I don't date.

ithedarkone 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:38

lol Wow. Well... hmm... Idk why he was doing that i mean i wouldn't do that. If i found that you were really looking attractive that night i would just give you a compliment. Ex you look very pretty tonight i cant keep my eyes of you. Or something like wow you have the cutest smile. Something simple to make a girl feel good about her self and start blushing. Instead of making chimpanzee noises at you... Could of waited for like when you guys are having intercourse and your doing a kinky jungle theme called Jungle Fever Thursday or something lol... and you guys dress in Lil kinky outfits. but even that sound kind of weird 0_o

TheLetterZero 7

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:44

Sounds like it was a "ruff" date. I think you should try to find someone "mew". Make sure he isn't "cheep" either. LAWLPUNS!

TheLetterZero 7

Saturday 26 September 2009 21:09

I wasn't supposed to be funny, darnit! Yes, I'm aware of sarcasm.

Leafhead 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:54

Did you go on a date with Plexico?

DrunkenValor 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 20:56

Maybe he just has IBS, and those animal noises are actually his bowels crying out in anguish at the food you're eating. Either way, he's clearly a catch!