Love: Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time....

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 10:26 - Singapore

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 991

You deserved it 3 673

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 374

You deserved it 2 628

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 356

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 866

You deserved it 5 294

By Gina - 02/04/2010 11:33 - Thailand

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 359

You deserved it 9 605

Mammy's boy

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 22:00

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 167

By Jake - 28/09/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 939

You deserved it 3 465

By crawfo - 31/08/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 337

You deserved it 12 071

By Jes_jes18 - 02/05/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 968

You deserved it 7 690

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 756

By AnonymousLoser - 11/09/2013 09:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 041

You deserved it 3 738

Calivale 7

Sunday 25 September 2011 19:15

Aww your mom loves you, to the extent of ruining your social life.

niamah 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 19:16

Mom is lonely. Tell dad to start taking her out again

Comments

shortrevolution 0

Monday 26 September 2011 3:39

Your mom is awesome!

jneville 5

Monday 26 September 2011 3:40

Um ya it looks like you do lick chode, bitch got attitude

spychik44 7

Monday 26 September 2011 3:49

Where were you??

TKello 6

Monday 26 September 2011 3:50

*rubs back of neck* You'd think your mom would learn to quit being so over protective after the first night she spent in jail for assault.

Glassmaster 0

Monday 26 September 2011 4:25

Slap her back. If she wants to interfere in your life, END HERS.

truwinna 0

Monday 26 September 2011 4:32

Mom:1 Daughter:0

The_creator_fml 2

Monday 26 September 2011 4:32

Maybe she just wanted you to use protection... Was he wearing gloves?

Kobiyashi95 2

Monday 26 September 2011 5:08

WTF I wuld be so pissed. What a creeper stalking u like that haha

fuckkyeaaaalaura 12

Monday 26 September 2011 5:51

lmao your mom is awesome

nublets 12

Monday 26 September 2011 5:54

WTB a better mom

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers

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Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 51

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 970

The Top

Today, I caught my 12 year-old seconds away from dripping bleach in his eye. Apparently “someone online” told him it scars the pupil red permanently, like a devil's eye, and he believed them. I’m shutting off the internet permanently, I can't handle his level of stupidity anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 185

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 586

You deserved it 11 939

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 995

You deserved it 34 934

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 552

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 17 446

Today, it yet again feels like everyone at my job hates me. I'm doing almost everything they do with two people on shift, while I have the solo shift, but I'm constantly told I'm not good enough. I just wanna be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 149

Same thing different taste

Very very frightening

Mammy's boy

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