Love: Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she... - FML

By nikto - 03/06/2011 01:01

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 044

You deserved it 3 957

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Same thing different taste

By Isitreallythatbad, - 22/12/2013 05:37 - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 538

You deserved it 3 650

By Aintnosunshine - 31/12/2008 03:48 - France

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 293

You deserved it 2 455

Dating pool hell

By AwkwardNotCute - 05/04/2022 19:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I tried instant online video dating for the first time, after not having much luck on other dating sites. The first date was kind of awkward, and "ended" with a kind of fade out and I could hear her chatting with someone else. "Hella awkward." Fair enough. "But was he cute? - No." FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 140

By well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 309

You deserved it 4 676

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 511

You deserved it 2 795

Profile pictures

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 252

By Anonycunt - 27/07/2013 16:30 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 331

You deserved it 4 004

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 2 652

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 201

Tonight, on First Dates…

By James C - 18/04/2012 08:48 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 4 620

Next

Top comments

tigerkyle92 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:28

Don't worry she was probably checking out how obnoxiously huge your penis was.

perdix 29

Friday 3 June 2011 8:27

Whip out your iPhone and play Angry Birds for the remaining 7 minutes and 50 seconds. Then, await your next humiliation.

Comments

Insomniaddict 0

Friday 3 June 2011 9:57

Were you wearing your boner pants?

sheethapins 13

Friday 3 June 2011 9:59

She was your drunken belligerent mom wasn't she?

Cosmopeaches 0

Friday 3 June 2011 11:41

She probably said it because you caught her looking at your junk! Just laugh it off!

Shinygirlnz 1

Friday 3 June 2011 12:39

A speed-dating troll? Forget her.

Forever_Blue_Jay 0

Friday 3 June 2011 13:13

What's with all the penis comments?? lol

Perdition 4

Saturday 4 June 2011 19:40

Penis.

KatherineAnne 7

Saturday 31 December 2011 5:46

Penis

Zombie65 0

Friday 3 June 2011 13:37

ok so you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny YDI

jcrob 0

Friday 3 June 2011 14:32

penis

iliv2serv 0

Friday 3 June 2011 14:39

Some ppl go to those things just to shock the potential daters-tucker max anyone?

OfficeNinja 5

Friday 3 June 2011 14:41

should have looked at her and replied "yea, it is. you have a terrible case of obnoxious bitch - it's all over your face and creeping me out". then enjoy your remaining 3 minutes of silence.

nickturn 3

Friday 3 June 2011 17:00

lol damn thts cold

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The Top

Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 4 813

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 169

You deserved it 9 445

The Top

Today, I discovered a cold sore in my ear, which I need to treat with a cream. Because of health issues, I already have six different creams and lotions to apply to various parts of my body, including buttcrack and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 633

You deserved it 667

Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 362

Today, I was diagnosed with a severe bladder infection that has left me in excruciating pain. A month ago, I had an ovarian cyst rupture. A few weeks before that, I badly sprained my elbow. Before that, I had the flu. I think my body is mutinying one organ system at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 160

Today, my mom said that we needed to have a family meeting because of all the issues that have been going on with our family. My mom, sister and I sat down and began to talk about everything. As I started to cry, my sister looks at my mom and says, "I win!" She bet my mom $20 that I would cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 159

You deserved it 7 999

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 100

You deserved it 2 678

Today, my older brother gave me his old phone. He didn't realize that he hadn't deleted his pictures. I found a bunch of him wearing my underwear and bras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 155